This is what it is to have children: When The Captain was just only three, we took him to see Monsters, Inc.. His da was concerned it would be Too Scary for him, but I was confident it’d be okay. A little bit scary is good for you, I always
Continue readingTag: True Stories
centre of the universe: Displacement
When I was in high school, I had a friend whose family home was just a few blocks from mine. Three generations of their family had lived there, which, to me, was wild. Nobody in my family had lived in the same house (or even on the same land) as
Continue readingcentre of the universe: Burnt Out
I woke yesterday, or maybe the day before, and heard the Radio Doctor (as in, the physician who is often interviewed on radio, and not the person who repairs ailing radios. Not that there’s anything wrong with the latter; radio repair is a noble profession. It’s just that in this
Continue readingcentre of the universe: Iskocēs Tipiskak: A Spark in the Dark – Book Review
Have you ever had one of those experiences where something comes at you out of the dark and ends up being a pleasant surprise? A time where you weren’t expecting anything but something happened anyway? Or when a complete stranger found you and you ended up kind of grokking each
Continue readingcentre of the universe: Just Keep Stabbin’
I used to be the sort of person who could walk into a clinic, slap myself down in a chair, and have the ghoulish blood collectors therein remove as much of the red as they needed. I donated blood on a regular basis; I never had a problem with blood
Continue readingcentre of the universe: The Last Thing
Grief is an oscillation between want and have, between need and want, between here and gone. It does strange things to a person. When my mother died I kept saying to my aunt, over and over, “this must be so hard for you”. A Freudian might call it transference. My
Continue readingcentre of the universe: Olfactory Sense
I was cleaning the bed linens this morning, which always accompanied a spraying down of the mattress with hydrogen peroxide & essential oils (no, not lavender; I don’t especially like lavender). Into the “warsh”, as my great-step-grandmother would say, with the sheets and mattress cover. I love doing the bed
Continue readingcentre of the universe: Chimney Ducks and David’s Irises
I was feeling pretty cruddy today; a kind of nonspecific languishing that makes no sense to me given it’s a perfect day in the perfect month of the perfect week. Everyone is relatively healthy, Child the Eldar is getting ready to strike out on his own, and generally I am
Continue readingcentre of the universe: Labour
There comes a point when a woman is labouring in childbirth when she says “I can’t do this”. Usually that’s a hallmark of what’s called transitional labour, and it usually means she absolutely can do it, and is likely about to do it with aplomb. Well-seasoned labour and delivery midwives
Continue readingcentre of the universe: 40 years
Some anniversaries we don’t need to remember. My Da just called to remind me that it was 40 years ago today that his father, my Gramps, was killed in a farm accident. Do you have a singular day that changed the trajectory of your life? I remember that
Continue readingcentre of the universe: I wish I were joking
But I’m not. If I wrote this as fiction my editors would cross it out as too far fetched. https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/saskatchewan/comedy-holiday-horrors-jillian-bell-1.4960005
Continue readingcentre of the universe: A Canadian (Thanksgiving) Parable
Once there was a Queen. She reigned over many lands, in the manner of constitutional monarchies with their own parliamentary systems based largely, if not wholly, on the parliament of the Queen’s own land. The Queen had many great powers, not the least of which were Longevity, Great Hats, and
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A Story of Parenting, Told in School Supplies Kindergarten, First Child: I purchased these school supplies over a year ago, have been awake since Friday labelling every pencil, every marker, every individual crayon, every eraser, and every individual tissue in the box. I have labelled every article of my child’s
Continue readingcentre of the universe: Regina’s (still) Gaping Maw
Something nobody tells you when you have children is that the second you have kids, everyone else on the face of the planet instantly becomes a parenting expert. You’re in luck though because there are only five hard and fast “rules” to successfully ensuring your replicant DNA becomes a fully
Continue readingcentre of the universe: Remembery
Do you remember the time you took me with you to your sister’s wedding? It was in small town somewhere and I was jonesing for a cig but no place was open and not even the bar was holding. I think I opted to spend the service itself in the
Continue readingcentre of the universe: The Christmas Story
As told by Teyah T. Dog (aka “Bumblebutt”) Once there was a woman in a kitchen and the kitchen was far from the dogs’ resting place on the chesterfield. The dogs heard the sound of crinkling and knew that the King would tell them they couldn’t have treats, so they
Continue readingcentre of the universe: Danger Zone
Please go read this article (https://www.huffingtonpost.com/gretchen-kelly/the-thing-all-women-do-you-dont-know-about_b_8630416.html). I’ll wait. If you’re already on Twitter, you’ve seen this already. I spent about a decade trying to look not-female (which was tough, given my body shape) and being very angry that I couldn’t go out to the club or the bar without having to
Continue readingcentre of the universe: October 6, 1999
It was a Wednesday. My back had been killing me ever since the games convention on the previous weekend. Wizard’s Challenge (North); we’d just pulled off the con – I’d been part of the planning team – and all reports were good. I spent much of the night stretching and
Continue readingcentre of the universe: The Inadvertent Feminist
I have the most bizarre memory. I mean, I can remember things that happened when I was 2. I remember locker combinations from high school. I remember school seating plans from elementary school. Yet I can’t remember my kids’ names on a regular basis, or whether I’ve seen a particular
Continue readingcentre of the universe: The Drama …Club
Did I ever tell you about my short-lived career as an actual “ad-man”? *wavy remembery lines* Way back in the once-upon-a-time, there was a drama club. And that drama club was trying to recruit new members. I went to a high school where there was a pretty clear divide between
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