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Stupid Sex Tricks: Dept. of Unenforceable Laws, Ukraine

Straight from the Wide World of WTF, we get wind of some wildly stupid fetus fetishism from Eastern Europe:

“An incredible project of law was presented before the parliament of Ukraine: banning the missionary position in sexual relations.”

That was the headline on Actualidad RT. The authors of this controversial project of law explained . . . → Read More: Stupid Sex Tricks: Dept. of Unenforceable Laws, Ukraine

The poutine thickens.

And look! There’s a Spanish fly in it:

RackNine, the Edmonton company that suspect “Pierre Poutine” used to send voters to the wrong polling locations, is operated by Edmonton businessman Matt Meier, with the help of Rick McKnight, who is identified variously as head of marketing and web developer.

But Postmedia News was unable . . . → Read More: The poutine thickens.

Festive Left Friday Blogging: Gorgeous, George!

OMG, look who got arrested earlier today:

Yes, that’s George Clooney. The movie star. He’s now free, along with his dad and a group of other prominent activists who were protesting on behalf of the people of Sudan, in front of the Sudanese embassy in Washington, DC.

Clooney and the other protesters were . . . → Read More: Festive Left Friday Blogging: Gorgeous, George!

Oh crap, I almost forgot…

Happy Pi Day!

Evo, the ladykiller?

It may be carnival time (and thus, the silly season) in Bolivia, but apparently some don’t find anything funny about it…or at least, not the way the president comported himself during Friday’s kick-off celebrations:

Opposition legislators and feminists criticized the Bolivian president, Evo Morales, for participating in a carnival party in which they sang . . . → Read More: Evo, the ladykiller?

And…we’re back.

Blackout ended. Regular posting (and venting) to resume shortly. Thanks for your understanding, folks. (And for those who also stood up against SOPA, big hugs and major good karma to you all.)

Meanwhile, for a striking example of someone who Does. NOT. Get. It., click here. And have your anti-nausea pills handy. You’re gonna need . . . → Read More: And…we’re back.

Music for a Sunday: Hut, hut, WHUT?

Q. What do you get when you cross a certain sanctimoniously obnoxious quarterback with Ziggy Stardust?

A. THIS:

Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for Ziggy Star-Crossed. Otherwise known as the Thick White Puke.

Your bathroom has a tooth fairy problem

What was Harpo really saying? Whatever it was, this is WAY more entertaining.

Stupid Sex Tricks: Because stupid hat tricks are so passé

Hockey normally gets very short shrift here, unless I’m wank-listing Don Fucking Cherry for his latest rockum-sockum case of Teh Stoopid. But this time, the tacky thing at the rink wasn’t him or his suit, it was what someone else tossed onto the ice:

Yes, that is a dildo. And this is its tale . . . → Read More: Stupid Sex Tricks: Because stupid hat tricks are so passé

Stupid Sex Tricks: Viagra in WHAT?

Relax, it’s not quite so drastic. But yeah, it’s just about that silly:

Durex has a new condom out that promises to enhance erections with a gel inside the tip that contains Zanifil. The over-the-counter drug boosts blood flow in the penis, which leads to firmer, larger, and longer-lasting erections for men who might . . . → Read More: Stupid Sex Tricks: Viagra in WHAT?

Toronto Zoo’s gay penguins go viral

By now you’ve surely heard of Buddy and Pedro, the two adorable little African penguins at the Toronto Zoo who’ve struck up an adorable little same-sex pair bond but are being separated in order to mate their “top-notch genes” with those of eligible females? Well, their plight has gone viral, thanks to the famous Taiwanese […] . . . → Read More: Toronto Zoo’s gay penguins go viral

Piñera’s prostitute

Oh, Chile. What is happening to you? When the capitalist whores are literally coming out of the woodwork, you KNOW you’ve got a corrupt, ruined country. And look! Here comes one now: The famous “lady of company”, María Carolina, was invited to appear on the TV program, “True Lies”, where, true to her style, she […] . . . → Read More: Piñera’s prostitute

Stupid Sex(less) Tricks: No cuddling, please, we’re British

Okay. Leaving out the obvious gender stereotyping that the media are crammed full of (guys don’t like to cuddle? Not in MY experience), it’s shit like this, Britain… A staggering 32 per cent of UK females admit they can’t stand cuddling when in bed, but force themselves into a clinch to avoid upsetting their partner. […] . . . → Read More: Stupid Sex(less) Tricks: No cuddling, please, we’re British

Stupid Sex Tricks: Banking and wanking, together at last

No. Oh, no. NO: In case you were wondering what that was all about, Copyranter explains: Komerční Banka is a member of the Société Générale Group, and is one of the leading financial institutions in the Czech Republic. Copy translation, according to the YouTube poster: “Enjoy the first banking transaction.” There’s another of these spots […] . . . → Read More: Stupid Sex Tricks: Banking and wanking, together at last

Stupid Sex Tricks: 9-11, with a side order of commodified female flesh

Gawd bless Amurrica! This was uploaded by Hooters itself, two days before the 9-11 x 10 mourn-a-thon. I believe the underlying message is “Eat greasy wings and ogle these Twin Towers (hurr hurr, geddit?), or the terrorists win!” (Thx, Jeze… . . . → Read More: Stupid Sex Tricks: 9-11, with a side order of commodified female flesh

In capitalism, everything is a commodity…

…be it women: …or children: Yes, that’s right…human beings are now objects to be “won” in stupid radio contests. Incidentally, both these contests are being held by Canadian radio stations. Isn’t there some kind of CRTC legislation against this kind of audience-grabbing stunt? Or human-rights legislation? Or, in the case of the Russian male-order bride […] . . . → Read More: In capitalism, everything is a commodity…

Cops Behaving Badly: To Serv(ic)e and…

Oh lord. I hope this officer did protect while he was, um, serving: According to The Smoking Gun, this unprofessional-but-oh-so-romantic moment took place in New Mexico, in an oft-vandalized location. Hence the camera on hand to capture it all. Apparently the man in uniform is with the Santa Fe sheriff’s department. And yes, that is […] . . . → Read More: Cops Behaving Badly: To Serv(ic)e and…

If a bankster falls in the forest…

…it makes the odd news headlines: “Shark in a boat” seems so last month. Now it’s “shark in the forest.” A call to police reporting an unusual odor on Thursday night led New Hampshire authorities to find a shark decomposing in the forest, WMUR-9 reports. According to The Associated Press, the six- to eight-foot blue […] . . . → Read More: If a bankster falls in the forest…

Stupid Sex Tricks: There’s an app for WHAT?

And it advertises WHAT? This ad banner actually appeared on an iPhone sex app. I’m sure it was completely random, but it’s also completely stupid. A screen that small doesn’t need anything more to clutter it up. Just one more reason to ban advertising from anything that connects to the Internets, IMO. (And no, that’s […] . . . → Read More: Stupid Sex Tricks: There’s an app for WHAT?

Stupid Sex Tricks: Taking it all off…for Pooty-Poot?

If you thought this song was silly, wait’ll you get a load of this story: “What are you ready to do for your president?” says the video calling on the supporters of the 58-year-old Russian prime minister to “rip it off” for him. The risque video clip features young girls laughing gaily as they strut […] . . . → Read More: Stupid Sex Tricks: Taking it all off…for Pooty-Poot?

MariCori scares a prairie dog

María Corina Machado, would-be chief nemesis of the current president of Venezuela (and confirmed putschist), has announced her Sarah Palin-style candidacy… Reacción de una Ardilla frente al anuncio de María Corina from Presión Implacable on… . . . → Read More: MariCori scares a prairie dog

What all starts with S?

Satan…socialism…and SOCCER! Yes, SOCCER! And oh, shit…so does my first name! And so does SHIT! Oh shit, I’m going to hell for liking socialism! And Uruguay! And Chavecito! Oh shit, shit, SHIT! (Of course, SATIRE also starts with S…let’s hope this is it. And if not, well, let me remind you that STUPID is also […] . . . → Read More: What all starts with S?

Pee Tee Eff Ess Emm!

Yes, that IS a colander on his head. And yes, that is a real, official Austrian driver’s licence. Praise the Flying Spaghetti Monster! For lo, he hath touched a man with his Noodly Appendage… An Austrian atheist has won the right to be shown on his driving-licence photo wearing a pasta strainer as “religious headgear”. […] . . . → Read More: Pee Tee Eff Ess Emm!

Augusto Pinochet…marijuanero?

Pothead? For some odd reason, this article in Patria Grande makes me giggle uncontrollably: A marijuana plantation has been found in a sector of a hacienda where lie the ashes of the ex-dictator Augusto Pinochet, a property currently under legal sanction for illicit enrichment. Lucía Pinochet Hirart, the oldest daughter of the former dictator, told […] . . . → Read More: Augusto Pinochet…marijuanero?

In Soviet Russia, cats bark at you!

No, really: And don’t you love how this kitty slows down to a meow when she realizes she’s being filmed? . . . → Read More: In Soviet Russia, cats bark at you!