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Montreal Simon: How the Race to Replace Harper Could Destroy the Cons

As if they hadn't been battered enough in that fierce October storm. Or humiliated enough.As if they hadn't lost so many MPs, cabinet ministers, thousands of party workers, and will soon be losing their Great Leader.The surviving Cons have washed ashore on their bleak desert island, have given themselves a week to choose an interim leader, before they turn to cannibalism.And already there are signs that the primordial struggle to replace Stephen Harper could tear the party apart.Read more »

Montreal Simon: Is Stephen Harper Trying to Start a Hindu Muslim War in Canada?

I've always assumed Stephen Harper's grotesque anti-niqab crusade was primarily designed to win him the support of some Quebecers.Like these two clowns who turned up to vote yesterday with their faces covered.

And of course to pleasure his rabid base in rural Alberta, for whom the only good Muslim is a dead one.But Tasha Kheirridin suggests that Harper may have another reason for continuing to beat his hollow bigot drum. And it couldn't be more chilling.Read more »

Montreal Simon: The Passion of Nigel Wright and the Depravity of Jesus Harper

It couldn't be a more outrageous statement, or if you are a Christian a more blasphemous one.But there was Jesus Harper's fallen but still faithful disciple Nigel Wright, citing the the Bible to defend his actions in the Mike Duffy scandal.Read more »

Montreal Simon: The Real Reason Pope Francis Humiliated Stephen Harper

Well now we know why Pope Francis ruined Stephen Harper's little photo-op at the Vatican the other day.By giving Harper only ten minutes of his time, compared to the fifty minutes he gave Vladimir Putin.And looking like he couldn't wait to get rid of him.But the reason Harper looked so green after the meeting was over…

Graeme MacKay/Hamilton SpectatorProbably had less to do with Putin, and more to do with the Pope's plan to call for a green revolution.Read more »

Montreal Simon: Stephen Harper’s Bizarre Missionary Mission to China

Well I see that Stephen Harper's visit to China has got off to a heavenly start. With our new Chinese overlords wanting to talk about business, now that Harper has signed the sellout FIPA deal, and they have us over a barrel for the next thirty years.While Lord Harp seems more interested in talking about crosses. Read more »

Montreal Simon: Harper’s Canada and the Attack on Parliament Hill

I'm sure you've all seen the pictures of this nightmare day on Parliament Hill, this criminal assault on our democracy. So all I have to say tonight is this:(1) To the crazy fanatics who killed a young soldier today and another one in Quebec the other day: you and your kind will not intimidate us.And we will remember Cpl. Nathan Cirillo and Warrant Officer Patrice Vincent​…

Long after we have forgotten their cowardly killers. Read more »

Montreal Simon: Gaza, Israel, and the Dangerous Harper Doctrine

It's an enduring mystery, a strange thing. Why does Stephen Harper seem to like Israel more than he likes Canada?What is it about that country that moves him so much, and makes his cold dead eyes moisten with emotion?Why is he encouraging Israel's savage assault on Gaza, at a time when most of the world is calling for restraint?The Ottawa Citizen's Mark Kennedy thinks he knows the answer. It's because Harper is a very moral leader. Read more »

Montreal Simon: Does Jason Kenney Need to Get Married to Become Con Leader?

As you probably know I have appointed myself the unofficial campaign manager (in the heathen areas) of Jason Kenney's leadership campaign.In the firm belief that if he replaces Stephen Harper the Cons will be gone for a GENERATION.And so far we're doing well, the wind and the Lord are in our sails, and as you can see from his twitter feed Jason is campaigning all-out. One moment he's in Newfoundland, the next moment he's in BC, while still managing to hit every church, mosque, synagogue, and temple in between.So you can imagine how horrified I was to read (Read more…)

. . . → Read More: Montreal Simon: Does Jason Kenney Need to Get Married to Become Con Leader?

Montreal Simon: Stephen Harper, Income Splitting, and the Theocon Agenda

Well there's one thing you can always count on when dealing with Stephen Harper's ghastly Cons. If you look behind the curtain, sooner or later you will come face to face with their sinister theocratic agenda.For only that can explain why their flawed income splitting plan is causing such an unholy ruckus. Read more »

Montreal Simon: Stephen Harper and the Sad End of the Rapture Junket

Well I see Stephen Harper's shabby bloated Middle East junket is on its way back to CanadaWith the Arabs heaving a sigh of relief, the Israelis calling him "Canada's first Zionist Prime Minister." And debating whether his visit was a bad omen.Benjamin Netanyahu, energized by the full body massage Harper gave him, digging in his heels on the settlement question. Read more »

Montreal Simon: Stephen Harper and the Con Caravan of Hate

For this he took his bloated junket to the Middle East, and stuck us with the tab. So he can try to buy the votes of Jewish Canadians, pleasure his rabid Christianist base, pose as a true friend of Israel. And declare that anybody who criticizes the policies of its brutish right-wing settler regime is an anti-Semite.

Read more »

Montreal Simon: Stephen Harper and the Con War on Women

He's been trying to soften his image by posing as a friend of poor women and children. He told a U.N. group on maternal health that "action trumps rhetoric.". His stooge John Baird denounced forced marriage, and warned of the health dangers for young women who get pregnant. Statistics provided by Baird's office show girls under 15 years old are five times more likely to die in childbirth than women in their 20s, and children born to mothers under 18 years old are 60 per cent more likely to die in their first year of life. Childbirth (Read more…)

Montreal Simon: Stephen Harper’s Scary Roman Nightmare

If you've ever seen the movie The Fall of the Roman Empire, the low budget version, you'll remember that this scene comes pretty close to the end.With the Empire collapsing under the weight of its own corruption.The Mad Emperor facing a rebellion in his own ranks.And the enemy at the gates.And so it must have seemed to Stephen Harper today, a living, breathing, Roman nightmare.Read more »

Montreal Simon: Stephen Harper and the Theocon Menace

It would be hard to imagine a more disturbing sight. Stephen Harper surrounded by a posse of religious leaders.Looking and sounding like a smarmy televangelist, while claiming it wasn't a partisan event. Despite all the Con signs like the one in the picture.And appointing as the ambassador for the sinister Office of Religious Freedom, the Dean of a Christian College whose curriculum would drag us back to the Dark Ages. Read more »

Montreal Simon: The Apocalyptic Destruction of The Harper Cons

Damn. As much as I hate doing it, I'm going to have to give Boss Harper some credit eh?The final collapse of his Con regime is turning out to be a heavenly show. And far more wonderfully apocalyptic than even I had hoped.For if on Wednesday it was Wallin, flying through the air on the public dime. Late on a Friday afternoon it had to be Dumbo Duncan, crashing to earth like a meteorite.Read more »

Montreal Simon: Why is Stephen Harper Promoting Christian Values?

It was a bizarre sight. Stephen Harper standing in front of a giant poster for Dragon's Den, appearing to be deep in prayer.Although he was only at a newser in Montreal, trying to figure out what to say, after being asked an embarrassing question:Why is your government promoting Christian values?Read more »

Montreal Simon: Pat Martin and the Rat Faced Cons

Golly. I have no idea why Pat Martin called the Cons rat faced whores.Martin launched into a Twitter tirade for the ages Wednesday night, calling the Conservative Party “rat faced whores” and attacking Public Safety Minister Vic Toews’ personal life to express his displeasure over not being invited to an announcement for a local infrastructure project.I know they're always jumping into bed with foreign interests, for money. Or handing out cheese to their supporters. But can rats OINK? Read more »

Montreal Simon: Guns, God, Madness, and the Harper Cons

I was glad to see Obama visit the latest community in America to be shattered by gun violence. And I was happy to hear him say this.

"We can't tolerate this any more. These tragedies must end. And to end them, we must change. So maybe all the poor little children, and the brave adults who tried to save them, didn't die in vain.But I just wish Obama had mentioned the word "gun" instead of invoking "God" so many times. Because there was more than enough God and madness in America today.Read more »

Montreal Simon: The Cons and the War on Christmas

Oh my Ding Dong. Deck the gazebo with boughs of holly. Or steaming mounds of horse shit.Tony Clement, the King of Muskoka and the Minister of Misery, wants us all to know something REALLY important.He's no grinch, and the Cons don't hate Christmas. Read more »

Montreal Simon: Stephen Woodworth and the Abortion Debate

Oh. My. Gilead. When I saw those women in red on Parliament Hill today, I thought the Harper Cons were getting ready to re-enact their favourite scene from The Handmaid's Tale.

When the women are brought before the men, told to be submissive as Lord Harper's missionary church commands them. And a gnarly old man gets to grope their rights, and instructs them to breed or ELSE.

And sure enough they were. Read more »