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mark a rayner: William Shatner’s Inaugural Address

(After Winning the First Post-Two-Party Presidential Election) Friends, Americans, Countrymen! Lend me your ears. I come to bury our two-party system, not praise it. I stand before you today, not as a conqueror, not as pop icon, but as your President. … . . . → Read More: mark a rayner: William Shatner’s Inaugural Address

Writings of J. Todd Ring: Will Ferrell does a mock music video of gangster rap – and it’s a scathingly hilarious critique of the genre

A musical commentary, followed by social and political analysis, followed by hilarious spoof rap videos, and more This is scathingly funny. Will Ferrell does a mock music video of macho gangster rap. Man, how I despise that music. As Rage Against the Machine said, “So-called rap’s a fraud.” Worse, most of it is disgustingly offensive, . . . → Read More: Writings of J. Todd Ring: Will Ferrell does a mock music video of gangster rap – and it’s a scathingly hilarious critique of the genre

cartoon life: Stephen Harper sings the national anthem

“Oh, Canada! I stand on guard for me!”

Filed under: art Tagged: elxn42, parody, Stephen Harper

. . . → Read More: cartoon life: Stephen Harper sings the national anthem

mark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Apocalypse Cow

Never get out of the boat. Absolutely goddamn right. Unless you were going all the way. Kurtz got off the boat. He split from the whole fuckin’ program. And me? I was off the boat the same time as Kurtz. … Continue reading →

Politics and its Discontents: Spoof, Or Not A Spoof?

Were it not for the telltale insignia on the bottom-right of the screen, it might be hard to tell.

High School Student, Teacher Applying For Same Summer Waitressing Job Recommend this Post . . . → Read More: Politics and its Discontents: Spoof, Or Not A Spoof?

mark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Boba Fett writes in his journal

“Last night I had that terrible dream where I got slowly digested over a 1000 years again. I wonder what it means? But in real world — totally looking forward to the Hutt Annual BBQ this weekend. Life has been … Continue reading →

mark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: How Man of Steel should have ended

I love these alternate (more logical) endings. This one presupposes that Superman is actually pretty smart. (Which, I’m not saying he isn’t, by the way. But we all know Batman is the smart one.) Alltop loves a good black hole … Continue reading →

mark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Batman Lashes Out at the Other Members of the Justice League of America After Spending the Weekend at the Jack Nicholson Film Festival

by Mark A. Rayner You know, I’m getting a little tired of all the snide remarks about the way I fight crime. We live in a world that has villains, and those villains have to be defeated by men with … Continue reading →

mark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Forty-seven signs of the apocalypse (#31)

From the Book of the Blessed Pie It shall come to pass that the Pharisees of the Hut will take the Blessed Pie and unto it they shall do wicked things. They will stuff the crust with their wantonness and … Continue reading → . . . → Read More: mark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Forty-seven signs of the apocalypse (#31)

mark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Schism opens way for creation of SinoPope

mark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Municipal Investment Strategies for the Technological Singularity

An Open Letter to Town Council Dear Councilors: Your town may have an emergency plan, a development plan, a health plan — it may even have a plan for how to fix the potholes (though I doubt it). But does … Continue reading →

. . . → Read More: mark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Municipal Investment Strategies for the Technological Singularity

mark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Fitted Sheets — Perfectly Cromulent Folding Instructions

Perfectly crumulent indeed. Alltop has trouble with t-shirts too.

Left Over: Enbridge Pipeline Spoof is “Revised”

Dan Murphy is a cartoonist for the Province newspaper,and here in BC, it is common practice to castigate the corporate agenda of rightwing whackjobs, sometimes in the media, whatever the East may think of the West’s support of the CRAPs..

Now that ability to laugh at, and thus negate the power of, Enbridge and other . . . → Read More: Left Over: Enbridge Pipeline Spoof is “Revised”

350 or bust: Saturday At The Movies

Here’s a video out of small-town New Brunswick that’s gone viral, From Sussex and I Know It. The lyrics are a little hard to understand, but I’ve copied them below: * First Verse When I walk on by, cow be lookin’ like damn he fly Big piece of meat, with 1500 pounds on top of . . . → Read More: 350 or bust: Saturday At The Movies

mark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Miss Atomic Test, Las Vegas (1957)

mark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: The Catcher in the Rye

In 1950, J.D. Salinger was hired by the New York City Tourist Bureau to write a jazzy and young novel about the city that never sleeps, in hopes of increasing general awareness about the city, and why it was such … Continue reading →

. . . → Read More: mark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: The Catcher in the Rye

mark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Classics of Travel Literature — The Odyssey & The Hobbit

The Odyssey The Odyssey is a story about a homicidal maniac (Odysseus) who refuses to ask for directions. This tragic flaw, shared by many men, leads his crew to disaster. Some are eaten by monsters, some are eaten by their … Continue reading →

. . . → Read More: mark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Classics of Travel Literature — The Odyssey & The Hobbit

mark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Ad hominem rules for writing

drooling pinheads open their stories with the weather, or a prologue fatuous knobs use the passive voice corpulent prose-pederasts use a verb other than “said” to carry dialog (and only a complete asshole would use an adverb to modify “said”) … Continue reading →

. . . → Read More: mark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Ad hominem rules for writing

The Skwib: Trooper Jinglo at home

Every time he thought about the Death Star, and how he was supposed to be on duty that day, Trooper Jinglo just needed to cuddle with his dog.

More pics and cutlines like this at Monkeyjoys (my Tumblr blog).

Alltop was supposed to be cleaning out the garbage containers, but got held up at . . . → Read More: The Skwib: Trooper Jinglo at home

Art Threat: Pepper spray cop serenaded by Shearer – Monday Music: Ballad of the Pepper Spray Cop

Pepper Spray Cop infiltrates Georges Seurat’s Sunday Afternoon on the Island of La Grande Jatte.

Harry Shearer — yes, that Harry Shearer of Simpsons and Spinal Tap fame — has immortalized UC Davis’ infamous police officer in song. Entitled Ballad of the Pepper Spray Cop, the ditty debuted on Shearer’s radio program, . . . → Read More: Art Threat: Pepper spray cop serenaded by Shearer – Monday Music: Ballad of the Pepper Spray Cop

The Skwib: The Future Is Frenzied

Professor Albedo-9000 Frink (the Third) was justifiably proud of his invention. It had taken him nearly 300 years of his genetically enhanced life to construct the Frink Dojigger 12. (Experimental models 1-11 proved un-viable.) Using only the finest Moussorgsky rodent filaments and all the heavy element Poutinium available in the Liquid Fermentation Galaxy, he had […] . . . → Read More: The Skwib: The Future Is Frenzied

The Skwib: Zach Galifianakis interview Charlize Theron

Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis: Charlize Theron from Between Two Ferns Alltop has sweaty thighs too. . . . → Read More: The Skwib: Zach Galifianakis interview Charlize Theron

The Skwib: Zach Galifianakis interviews Bruce Willis

The 80s: the underrated decade. Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis: Bruce Willis from Bruce Willis Alltop preferred the 70s. . . . → Read More: The Skwib: Zach Galifianakis interviews Bruce Willis