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Dead Wild Roses: Date Preparation for Females and Males

The Female Version: And then there is male date preparation:   Men worry that their date won’t measure up to their aesthetic preferences. Women worry that they’re going wind up dead. The disparity is RIDICULOUS, and the fact that dudes get offended when women try to protect themselves is hard proof that way too many […] . . . → Read More: Dead Wild Roses: Date Preparation for Females and Males

Left Over: Let’s Not Face the Truth….

 

Canadians of all stripes oppose face coverings at citizenship ceremonies: Vote Compass Conservative and BQ supporters most opposed; Liberals, NDP and Greens more mixed

CBC News Posted: Sep 21, 2015 3:58 PM ET Last Updated: Sep 22, 2015 11:11 AM ET

Do I think that politicians of all stripes in this election, . . . → Read More: Left Over: Let’s Not Face the Truth….

Left Over: Let’s Not Face the Truth….

 

Canadians of all stripes oppose face coverings at citizenship ceremonies: Vote Compass Conservative and BQ supporters most opposed; Liberals, NDP and Greens more mixed

CBC News Posted: Sep 21, 2015 3:58 PM ET Last Updated: Sep 22, 2015 11:11 AM ET

Do I think that politicians of all stripes in this election, . . . → Read More: Left Over: Let’s Not Face the Truth….

centre of the universe: Two Princes

I leave the doctor’s office, where I have just been shirtless in front of two men I have never met. I’m feeling a little scared, because in meeting with this doctor, I have basically consented to surgery. Elective surgery, but elective surgery that may change my life and make it possible for me to run, . . . → Read More: centre of the universe: Two Princes

The Canadian Progressive: Compassion creates happiness, freedom and better relationships

Kozo Hattori, a writer and counselor, explains how compassion creates happiness, freedom from gender stereotypes, and better relationships with others.

The post Compassion creates happiness, freedom and better relationships appeared first on The Canadian Progressive.

Illuminated By Street Lamps: The Toronto G20 Summit: A State of Exception

By Joe Fantauzzi@jjfantauzziBetween June 26 and 27, 2010, thousands of demonstrators[1] descended on Toronto, Ontario to protest while the leaders of the world’s 20 largest economies[2] met behind a protective fence built of steel and secretive legislative authority. When the tear gas cleared and the G20 Summit ended, 1,105 people had been detained. It has been described . . . → Read More: Illuminated By Street Lamps: The Toronto G20 Summit: A State of Exception

Dead Wild Roses: Be A Man

How many of you out there have either heard these words or said them to others? I’m willing to bet most males out there has heard it at some point and many women have told the males in their lives these words. It’s part of the social narrative, these constructs of what gender is and . . . → Read More: Dead Wild Roses: Be A Man

The Canadian Progressive: International Women’s Day 2014: College and university women express solidarity with Anne-Marie Roy

by: Obert Madondo

Via: Rabble.ca

March 8, 2014

International Women’s Day

We stand with Anne-Marie Roy. We’ve been there too.

As women who have held elected positions at our college or university students’ union, we write in solidarity with Anne-Marie Roy, the President of the Student Federation of the University of Ottawa (SFUO). Anne-Marie was . . . → Read More: The Canadian Progressive: International Women’s Day 2014: College and university women express solidarity with Anne-Marie Roy

Dead Wild Roses: Gender Roles in Western Society

Another bit of well crafted insight into some of the subtle rules that govern our society.

Filed under: Education Tagged: Gender binary, Gender Roles, Men, Patriarchy, Women

. . . → Read More: Dead Wild Roses: Gender Roles in Western Society

Illuminated By Street Lamps: No Federal Childcare Program: An Exercise In Strengthening Hegemony

            Canada, a nation among the wealthiest in the world, cannot meet its daycare needs. The problem has grown to crisis proportions in the country’s largest cities. In Toronto there are only enough daycare spaces for about one in five of the city’s children.[1] In downtown Vancouver, 2,000 children are on . . . → Read More: Illuminated By Street Lamps: No Federal Childcare Program: An Exercise In Strengthening Hegemony

Bill Longstaff: Should women run the world?

Scientists at at the University of Pennsylvania have once again confirmed what we have always known intuitively. Men’s and women’s brains are wired differently.

Maps of neural circuitry from one of the largest studies of brain wiring showed that connections in women’s brains tended to be stronger across the left and right hemispheres, whereas in . . . → Read More: Bill Longstaff: Should women run the world?

mark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: An accurate representation

This photo is missing the beer slider and the porn/video game toggle for men, but otherwise seems accurate. Alltop has an entire board filled with humor sliders.

The Canadian Progressive | News & Analysis: No More Steubenvilles: How To Raise Boys to be Kind Men

What can we do to help young men respect women, recognize consent, and have healthy sexual relationships? Teach them kindness to others—and the courage to go against the crowd. By: Kim Simon | Mama By the Bay When Max was just a few months old, I sat cross-legged on the floor with him […]

The . . . → Read More: The Canadian Progressive | News & Analysis: No More Steubenvilles: How To Raise Boys to be Kind Men

Dead Wild Roses: Most Men Don’t Want to Hear This…

A big thanks to Sexgenderbody from the Daily Kos.

men –

we are the problem. all of the problems. and not just some of us – all of us. we are bullies, rapists, murderers and we live off the sweat and pain of anyone we can. you may not have raped or stolen land . . . → Read More: Dead Wild Roses: Most Men Don’t Want to Hear This…

Dead Wild Roses: DWR PSA Saturday – Men should be offended.

Filed under: Feminism Tagged: DWR PSA Satruday, Men, Rape, Violence

350 or bust: Saturday At The Movies

LOL!

Illuminated By Street Lamps: Je Me Souviens/I Remember Dec. 6, 1989

Geneviève Bergeron (1968-1989), civil engineering student

Hélène Colgan (1966-1989), mechanical engineering student

Nathalie Croteau (1966-1989), mechanical engineering student

Barbara Daigneault (1967-1989), mechanical engineering student

Anne-Marie Edward (1968-1989), chemical engineering student

Maud Haviernick (1960-1989), materials engineering student

Maryse Laganière (1964-1989), budget clerk in the École Polytechnique’s finance department

. . . → Read More: Illuminated By Street Lamps: Je Me Souviens/I Remember Dec. 6, 1989

Canadian Progressive: Sexism: A Call to Arms for Decent Men

Guys, we have a problem. We are letting way too many boys get into adulthood without actually becoming men. We’re seeing more and more adult males around who are not men.

Feminist Mom in Montreal: Kathleen Hanna on leadership

A few days ago, somebody posted this interview with Kathleen Hanna of Bikini Kill and Le Tigre in ontd_feminism:

In the interview, Hanna discusses how she feels about donating her zines and other papers to the New York University Library. More information about this is available in this article at Village Voice:

(Read . . . → Read More: Feminist Mom in Montreal: Kathleen Hanna on leadership

Feminist Mom in Montreal: Kathleen Hanna on leadership

A few days ago, somebody posted this interview with Kathleen Hanna of Bikini Kill and Le Tigre in ontd_feminism:

In the interview, Hanna discusses how she feels about donating her zines and other papers to the New York University Library. More information about this is available in this article at Village Voice:


After a series of trivializing articles appeared in Newsweek, USA Today, and some alternative press outlets, many in the Riot Grrrl movement called for a media blackout, which left much of Riot Grrrl unrecorded in anything other than private and piecemeal fashion. A Riot Grrrl archive would thus function as a remarkable resource, providing scholars of feminism, gender theory, and music history with a trove of unpublished and undocumented primary sources. As Jenna Freedman, a librarian who maintains a zine collection at Barnard College, explains, “I think it’s just essential to preserve the activist voices in their own unmediated work, especially because of the media blackout that they called for. What the young women have to say in the unedited, un–’corporate stamp of approval’ way is really powerful.”

Another thing that Kathleen Hanna discusses in this interview is leadership:

I want more interesting leaders. I think the thing that um is really hard for feminist women who are also interested in challenging like all kinds of oppression is that we’re freaked out about leadership, and so there’s not more interesting leaders, and a lot of times we kill off our own leaders. I mean not because I think because we’re women but because we’re in a culture that you know we create products and then we destroy those products, the same way that we lift people up and it’s like the kill your idol syndrome, and then we’re like, “They’re not good enough, and this is wrong,” and we get all picky about everything and I just, I don’t know, I just wish there was more feminist leaders to choose from and more variety.

I think I agree with her. A recent example of “kill your idol syndrome” is some of the negative reaction to Jen McCreight’s Boobquake. And maybe we were all a little hard on McCreight:

The main feminist objection to Boobquake seemed to be that the women who participated were letting ourselves be exploited. They argued that many men reacted to the event with sexist, “Show us your tits!” idiocy—a reaction McCreight should have foreseen, and was therefore responsible for. Even if the intention behind the event was good (a point on which anti-Boobquake feminists differ)—even though the event was initiated by a woman and voluntarily participated in by women—the result was simply another round of female bodies being objectified by men.

Ah. I see.

Women ought not to display our sexuality—because men can’t be trusted. In the presence of a display of desirable female flesh, men will lose control of themselves. Women ought to dress modestly, and ought not to encourage other women to dress immodestly… and if we persist in our immodesty, and men respond by behaving badly, it’s women’s fault.
-Greta Christina

On the other hand, I also agree with Kathleen Hanna that it’s better to have more leaders, and because there were some people who disagreed with Boobquake, Negar Mottahedeh and Golbarg Bashi created Brainquake. Because we had Boobquake and Brainquake, we had more leaders to choose from and we could choose to follow the movement that we were more comfortable with.

Now, don’t think that just because I think that it’s better to have more leaders that I’ve changed my mind about men as feminist leaders. I still think that the oppressor leading the oppressed is counter-productive to the feminist movement. It doesn’t seem that Maymay sees himself as an oppressor, but I’ve noticed some viewpoints from his supporters that are a danger to feminism. There were two comments in particular in response to this debate (one on Maymay’s twitter and the other on the Femquake facebook page) that I found to be very unsettling:

I think it means more when more privileged people acknowledge the problems and contribute to solutions.

and:

If anything, I think it’s better that you’re a man.

If we’re going to place more importance on men’s roles within feminism than on women’s roles, then what’s the point of even having feminism?

If you agree with Maymay that men can be feminist leaders, then I suggest that you read Feminism 101. There are some good articles in their FAQ about what roles men should have in feminism and why. If you read that and you still think that men should be feminist leaders, then we’re not in this together.

. . . → Read More: Feminist Mom in Montreal: Kathleen Hanna on leadership

Feminist Mom in Montreal: Man empowers women by encouraging them to pose for nude photos

I think a preface is in order here. On my blog post “Men as feminist leaders?” there was discussion about whether or not the event Femquake was still empowering for women with the knowledge that it was created by a man. Some of the people who commented feel that a man can be a feminist . . . → Read More: Feminist Mom in Montreal: Man empowers women by encouraging them to pose for nude photos

Feminist Mom in Montreal: Man empowers women by encouraging them to pose for nude photos

I think a preface is in order here. On my blog post “Men as feminist leaders?” there was discussion about whether or not the event Femquake was still empowering for women with the knowledge that it was created by a man. Some of the people who commente… . . . → Read More: Feminist Mom in Montreal: Man empowers women by encouraging them to pose for nude photos

Feminist Mom in Montreal: Men as feminist leaders?

As I mentioned in my post about Boobquake, feminists don’t always agree about everything. One of the things that we don’t all agree on is the role of men in the women’s movement. When Mary Daly taught at Boston College, she refused to allow men to attend her classes on feminism. Then we have bell . . . → Read More: Feminist Mom in Montreal: Men as feminist leaders?

Feminist Mom in Montreal: Men as feminist leaders?

As I mentioned in my post about Boobquake, feminists don’t always agree about everything. One of the things that we don’t all agree on is the role of men in the women’s movement. When Mary Daly taught at Boston College, she refused to allow men to attend her classes on feminism. Then we have bell hooks who believes that feminism is for everybody:

As all advocates of feminist politics know most people do not understand sexism or if they do they think it is not a problem. Masses of people think that feminism is always and only about women seeking to be equal to men. And a huge majority of these folks think feminism is anti-male. Their misunderstanding of feminist politics reflects the reality that most folks learn about feminism from patriarchal mass media.

When I wrote my last blog post, I credited Feministing with the idea of Femquake. Maymay commented to correct me; he had come up with the idea. He also informed me that he is a man. Upon learning the true identity of Femquake’s creator, an anonymous commenter had this to say:

awesome. a man is leading the femquake charge. That’s all great and lovely, but I guess I was hoping that it was a woman. If that makes me sexist, well, I guess maybe I am.

Not gonna lie, it means a little less to me now.

The point is still there and the point is a good one, but meh…some dude on the internet leading the charge on us uniting our boobs and our brains is just, IDK, ironic.

Thanks for the help, though.

When Maymay wrote about the anonymous comment in his blog, it sparked a debate about leadership, men as feminists, and whether or not a hierarchy exists within feminism. I had this to say in a few of my comments:

I think that Femquake was a good idea, but I can see where the anonymous commenter on my blog was coming from. Men have been the ones who have been the leaders throughout history, and while there are more women in government now, it is still made up of mostly men. Part of being a feminist (for me and I think for anonymous, too) is believing that women can be leaders as well, and when a man comes up with an initiative like Femquake, it doesn’t really strengthen that idea. When men step up as leaders for the women’s movement, it looks like we can’t even lead ourselves. I don’t think that the comment came from a belief that men don’t have good ideas and valid opinions, but from a desire to be independent. […]

A leader can be somebody organizing a protest or it could be someone who says something that nobody else has said before. In the case of Femquake, you were leading; you came up with an idea and you asked people to participate in your event. Maybe you don’t feel that you were the leader of Femquake, but when you saw that I credited Feministing in my post, you did point out that you were the one who came up with the event. […]

Men have been leading themselves for centuries and they’re still the ones who are making most of the laws. Our society is still a society where women constantly have to prove themselves as a whole. Men don’t have to prove that men are good at math and science or that men are capable of leading.

Here are a few excerpts from Maymay’s blog post and comments:

…it’s absolutely baffling to me that when men stand up for gender equality, it somehow means less than when women do it. The reality is that no matter who is standing up for gender equality, it means the same thing: that we are all working towards the same goal of equality and opportunity for all souls on this planet, regardless of what body those souls inhabit. […]

I have to respectfully disagree with you when you say that supporting ideas that men come up with makes it look like women can’t lead themselves. To me, that feels like a grave indictment of women, one I’d be uncomfortable making. Would you say that men who support women make it look like men can’t lead themselves? Sexism is sexism, and there is nothing I find worth honoring about sexism regardless of its source or its target.

Furthermore, the idea that somehow someone has to “lead” equality strikes me as faulty. Equality is by definition non-hierarchical. Leadership, by contrast, is necessarily hierarchical. To say that I am somehow “leading the charge” is misrepresentative of the ideal of self-empowerment that I tried to put forth in coining “femquake.”

In other words, for people to realize a desire to be independent, regardless of whether they are women or men, “following leaders” is not the way to do it.

I suggest reading the section of his post about the anonymous comment and the rest of the comments on the post before you read this next part. I’m responding to his last comment to me here, because I’m curious about what people who read my blog have to say, particularly the original anonymous commenter.

Did you hear me say that leaders weren’t necessary, or useful, or valuable, or important? If so, then, oops, either I misspoke or you misinterpreted or both! I’ll try to say things another way, next time.

What you said was, “for people to realize a desire to be independent, regardless of whether they are women or men, ‘following leaders’ is not the way to do it.” What is the way to do it then?

It’s certainly a terrible thing, in my view, that black women are treated with less dignity than white women merely for being black and women. Does that make feminism or feminist ideals hierarchical? You seem to be saying so, and I disagree. Feminism is about gender equality, and that concept–even in an imperfect world–is distinct from racial equality.

It does make feminism hierarchal. So do homophobia, transphobia, and classism. I’m going to use another quote from your comment to illustrate this. “Is it oppressive for a woman who wants to be a homemaker to have equal opportunity to choose between homemaking and astrophysics? No. It is only oppressive when she is not given that choice, or is disempowered from enacting either reality.”

Back in the day when middle-class white women were rebelling against being homemakers, they weren’t thinking about other women who would have fewer options in terms of work that they could do. Not everyone has the option of having a wonderful career. They may not be able to afford the education that they would need for a career and they’re stuck working at an unsatisfactory minimum wage job. When feminism was taking the “women should work” direction, women in lower income households weren’t being empowered.

…adultism is discrimination against anyone who is not an adult. Would you say that black children face more discrimination than white children? I would say so, and while the intersections of adultism and racism are prevalent, I don’t think it’s helpful to view the concept of racial equality as hierarchical, just as I don’t think it’s helpful to view feminism/gender equality as hierarchical, either.

Is the concept of racial equality hierarchical? I’m going to quote bell hooks again, because I think she has a good answer to this one:

No other group in America has so had their identity socialized out of existence as have black women… When black people are talked about the focus tends to be on black men; and when women are talked about the focus tends to be on white women.

and:

What had begun as a movement to free all black people from racist oppression became a movement with its primary goal the establishment of black male patriarchy.

I admit that I’m not an expert on the black rights movement, but I trust that bell hooks knows what she’s talking about.

Being good at math and science or that we are capable of leading does not mean that men don’t have to prove themselves as a whole. Feminism aims to liberate men as well as women. Feminism is wonderful because it can liberate the oppressor as well as the oppressed.

Men have to prove that it is okay for them to be ’sensitive,’ that it is okay for us to look ‘pretty,’ that it is okay for us to desire care and protection from our partners, rather than take assumed roles as “protectors” of women.

People looked at us funny when my girlfriend hugged me while I curled up into a ball in her arms on the subway in New York City. They aren’t used to such a scene. I feel that this is as much a sign of men’s oppression as it is of women’s.

I appreciate that I have privilege as a man, but that privilege comes at a huge cost. That painful cost is invisible to most men and, unfortunately, to many women who call themselves feminist, too. Please don’t belittle the negative effects gender inequality has on men when you speak of feminism.

I don’t think that I was belittling the negative effects that the patriarchy has on men. We were talking about leadership. I said that men don’t have to prove themselves as leaders. It’s unfortunate that you aren’t accepted when you show your emotions, but that goes both ways, too. Little girls are socialized to be sensitive, yet if a woman wants to appear competent in business or in politics, she must control her emotions so that others don’t think that she’s not up to the job. It’s also important to remember why being sensitive is perceived as a negative trait; society views sensitivity as being a female trait.

Is pointing out misinformation the same as leadership? Is creation the same as leadership? These are distinctions I don’t see you making, but they are important.

Leadership is a concept devoid of intent and full of action: a leader is someone who rules, guides or inspires others.

I believe the misinformation that you’re referring to is when I credited Feministing with creating Femquake. I didn’t see that as leadership, but I did see it as taking credit for leadership. You were guiding and inspiring others by coming up with Femquake.

In segregating the “*quake” events from one another and placing me at the head of Femquake independent of the full context, it feels to me that you disavow the inspirational, necessary role that McCreight, Negar Mottahedeh, and Golbarg Bashi played in inspiring my actions. I view them as my leaders here. Please give them as well as the unnamed masses of courageous women (and men, in some cases) who participated that same courtesy when you discuss Femquake.

I’m not trying to discredit the creators of Boobquake and Brainquake at all. I was responding to your response to the anonymous comment on my blog, which was about Femquake being started by a man.

I think feminism’s allies–regardless of their gender–deserve equal support. They are your allies, and you are after equality, aren’t you?

Again, we were talking about leaders. Allies and leaders are two different kinds of people. One person can choose to be an ally in one instance and a leader in another, but declining to follow a leader is not the same thing as denying support to an ally.

Ultimately, the issue is that if one is more willing to hear support for “get everyone on an equal footing” from a woman than from a man, the issue is not really about leadership, is it? It is about gender.

That’s a very black and white way to put it. It’s not about these two genders being different from each other. One of them has historically made all of the decisions for the other and had had power over the other. The issue isn’t about wanting to exclude men; it’s about wanting to empower ourselves instead of letting somebody else do it for us. It’s about women who don’t want to rely on men and who want to be independent.

. . . → Read More: Feminist Mom in Montreal: Men as feminist leaders?