Our Universe: groundhog sees its shadow = 6 more weeks of winter. Foofy Bum Universe: annual celebration of Lord Fuzzy’s victory over the Lizard Horde. Zentropia Universe: day of the year when all rodents are allowed to drive. It’s-in-the-hole! Universe: Bill Murray [praise be his name] emerges from his four-fold slumber and chooses what remakes will ...
Meanwhile in Canada … Every year on the second Monday of October, Canadians celebrate the end of the Moose Ascendency. During this dark period of Canadian history, the moose reigned supreme, forcing our provocatively dressed women to worship them, and slaughtering any man who got in their way. Eventually, Canadians discovered the mystical powers of ...
Following the cataclysm of the Clown Apocalypse, researchers discovered there had been similar plagues throughout the ages. One of the worst outbreaks in history was the Great Buffoon Drive of ’47. Many thought it started with an especially bad outbreak of the Laughing Flux – a terrible disease causing its victims to fart themselves to ...
Alltop prefers roast opossum. Original photo by Doug Brown via Flickr.
It wasn’t just because all the players had such deeply held religious beliefs. It was also because they had a virtual parity in robots and x-wing fighters. Just a little tip of balance, and it would have been over in weeks. Alltop tips the balance towards funny. Excellent photoshoppery by David Blackwell.
Hello and welcome to today’s edition of Spot the Newton, where you pick out the UNtrue facts about Sir Isaac Newton: was unquestioningly one of the most important scientists ever died a virgin had a passion for alchemy above all else once poked a needle in his eye to test an optical theory used his ...
In the late 1960′s Albanian Airlines’ passengers had overwhelmingly rejected their, “only a sissy needs a seatbelt,” marketing slogan. Their subsequent efforts were equally ineffective at increasing their revenues, including the following notions: no alcohol or tobacco on our flights, … Continue reading →
Normally, I just nod my head in agreement with xkcd, but in this case, I must take exception. Before the Internet, life was much more exciting. There were things to do — the hard way — and much to accomplish. … Continue reading →
Besides, killing Hitler is such a 1st year in the time-travel academy thing to do. Alltop is a great way to kill time.
Long before Giuseppe Del Balso invented cross-dimensional rift surfing, full-frontal time travel, or the pleasures of Zoot, he had many adventures, riding through the Italian countryside on his iron Dobbin. Though invented to teach children how to ride a horse, … Continue reading →
Chief Massasoit presents items NOT supplied for the first Thanksgiving, circa 1621 (only slide) deep-fried turkey cranberry sauce potatoes, white or sweet pie of any kind (there were pumpkins, though). Pilgrim chef suggests the following harvest feast, circa 1621 (second … Continue reading →
This infographic supplies an estimate for how many human beings ever lived. (140 billion) And if that sounds like an astonishing number, imagine how crowded the planet would be if they all existed at once. Actually, you don’t have to … Continue reading →
Capable of doing zero-to-sixty in less than ten seconds, the Flannigan Repto-Buggy was a big seller right after President Rutherford B. Hayes started building the Great Chicken Highway. Thousands of tender birds were released on the roads every day, giving … Continue reading →
vocabulation The use or choice of words. This post is a meditation on vocabulation, particularly, old words that we may want to revivify for our current age of the Internet and excess. octothorpe The # symbol. I learned this one … Continue reading →
Famous Painting with SF Titles: Coordinates to Landing Zone XI No doubt this painting is known to you by the title given to it by humans, L’Ultima Cena (The Last Supper). Purportedly, this work depicts the final meal eaten by … Continue reading →
24,000-22,000 BC: chunky fertility goddess statues (pictured at right: notice the prominent and large brains.) 10,000 BC: cave painting 4,000 BC: ziggurat construction 3,000-1,250 BC: pyramid raising (later revived by Mesoamericans and I.M. Pei) 1480-1700: Witch burning 1500s: homoerotic sonnet … Continue reading →
Here’s a fun little video from TED about the evolution of English. This video describes the early days of English’s changes. Some of the more recent alterations are not included, such as the extensive use of pirate terms, robot machine … Continue reading →
Alltop uses bagpipes whenever its torturing other humor aggregators.
Excerpt from the Brainipedia mentograph entry on Wall Street, circa 2020: It wasn’t until the early years of the 2020s that our pre-singularity hominid ancestors realized they should not allow their best and brightest minds to go into the financial … Continue reading →
There is no more tragic story from the early days of cycling than the legendary Vance (The Leggman) Leggstrong. For a period of nearly a decade, none could match his feats of strength, endurance and mind-bending willpower on the Penny … Continue reading →
Many believe the term stems from the dog-like appearance of the seal, while others claim it is grizzled old sailors. Both of these are correct, nautically speaking, but not when it comes to the pirate. Pirates, and more particularly, privateers, … Continue reading →
This chart imparts two important points to me: I am older than the average American I had no idea the movie Forrest Gump was so important. The list is marginally less depressing than a game a co-worker of mine used … Continue reading →
Except for the wily Odysseus. If he could restrain himself from mass-murdering all of the guys hitting on his hot wife, Penelope, he would probably be able to manage a career in HR. Alltop is wine dark with humor.
I remember talking to my Grandfather on the phone in 1974. He was in Canada, and I was in the UK. There was an echo that made it very difficult to hear his voice; I think he struggled even more … Continue reading →
The pastry chef, Seaman First Class Henry Bunders, had been given specific orders: “make a cake that is like a nuclear explosion.” He’d been able to recreate the effect of the mushroom cloud using some stiff cardboard, fondant, and liberal … Continue reading →