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Red Tory v.3.0.3: Mitterminator

Seeking to dispel accusations of pathological flip-flopping, “Mitt” Romney unveiled plans to use a time machine to kill earlier versions of himself who believed in universal health care and gay rights.

Now that he’s the presumptive Republican nominee, I guess “Mitt” will also have to exterminate earlier iterations of himself such as the . . . → Read More: Red Tory v.3.0.3: Mitterminator

Red Tory v.3.0.3: Game Over for Santorum

At Gettysburg, PA (of all places!) Rick Santorum announced today that he’s throwing in the towel on his bid to become the Theocrat in Chief of the United States.

No surprise really, considering that in all probability he would otherwise have lost the primary later this month in his home state. Not only . . . → Read More: Red Tory v.3.0.3: Game Over for Santorum

Trashy's World: So Santorum wins…

… two Bible-belt states… and some folks are surprised? Really? On the radio this morning, I hear him say to a crowd after the wins: “The most common thing I have people saying to me is that “I am praying for you”. …and the audience yells “Amen!” Yeah. And there are still some who are . . . → Read More: Trashy’s World: So Santorum wins…

Red Tory v.3.0.3: Newt-a-Mania!

I guess winning the Georgia primary in tonight’s discount version of “Super Tuesday” may help Newt stay puft for a while longer in the race to be the standard bearer of ignorant, batshit-crazy white people across America, but what is up with the poor lad forced to hold a sign reading “Newt-a-Mania”?

Should . . . → Read More: Red Tory v.3.0.3: Newt-a-Mania!

Ron Paul, Contraceptives & Abortion

Of the four(4) GOP primary candidates still standing, the only one I can even come close to listening to with a serious ear is libertarian Ron Paul. Now before everyone jumps all over the comments section with the “Ron Paul is no friend of progressives!!” stuff, yeah yeah, I get that, but I don’t have . . . → Read More: Ron Paul, Contraceptives & Abortion

Red Tory v.3.0.3: Latest Ron Paul Attack Ad

Here’s the latest negative attack ad from the Ron Paul campaign slagging Rick Santorum for not being a “fiscal conservative”… (Seems to have been done by the same agency that created the tough-talking Ford F-150 truck ads.)

I suppose one could quibble about specifics of the dubious allegations made if there was a point . . . → Read More: Red Tory v.3.0.3: Latest Ron Paul Attack Ad

Red Tory v.3.0.3: The Right Height of Trees

Vocalizing to a small group of carbon-based supporters in Michigan earlier this week, “Mitt Romney” – the android launched many years ago by a venture capital fund to become the first completely non-human Republican nominee for President – pretended to express his/its deep affinities with and positive responses to various aspects of the state where . . . → Read More: Red Tory v.3.0.3: The Right Height of Trees

Red Tory v.3.0.3: Santorumentum!

Def: The frothy mix of media hype and fecal matter that is sometimes the byproduct of non-binding Republican primary victories.

How sad is it that a moronic theocrat like Rick “Man on Dog” Santorum is viewed by a majority of Republican primary voters in the heartland of America as a preferable alternative to the . . . → Read More: Red Tory v.3.0.3: Santorumentum!

Red Tory v.3.0.3: Resolute Newt

Rather than staging a pointless concession “rally” after his distant second-place finish in yesterday’s Nevada caucuses, bucking convention, Newt Gringrich opted instead to hold a bizarre 20-minute press conference at his campaign headquarters.

Repulsive though he may be in almost every respect, it’s a good thing that Gringrich has vowed to remain . . . → Read More: Red Tory v.3.0.3: Resolute Newt

Red Tory v.3.0.3: Blood Money

The SuperPAC supporting (but definitely not co-ordinating with!) Newt Gringrich yesterday released another negative “documentary” attacking Mitt Romney.

Called “Blood Money” the film links the former head of Bain Capital to Damon Clinical Laboratories, a medical testing company the equity firm controlled during the early 90s that was subsequently found guilty of having massively . . . → Read More: Red Tory v.3.0.3: Blood Money

Red Tory v.3.0.3: Damn the Paulbots!

As much as I agree with many of Ron Paul’s principled stances on various issues, I just cannot stand the cult of over-zealous fanatics that support him…

Despite all evidence, these folks simply refuse to accept the fact that Dr. Paul will NOT be the Republican nominee for president. To the contrary, they . . . → Read More: Red Tory v.3.0.3: Damn the Paulbots!

Red Tory v.3.0.3: No Heat, No Light

Contrary to expectations and all the advance hype, it was quite a flat, disappointingly ineffective, and weirdly obtuse Republican “debate” hosted by NBC in Florida tonight.

That was probably the most heated exchange of the evening – a pointless quibble over what constitutes “lobbying” on behalf of government sponsored entities… Zzzzz. There was . . . → Read More: Red Tory v.3.0.3: No Heat, No Light

Red Tory v.3.0.3: Only in America!

Quite an appropriate theme song by Toby Keith playing at last night’s victory rally in South Carolina…

Truly it can be said that “Only in America” could a pompous, selfishly scheming, ethically-challenged, morally bankrupt hypocrite like Newt Gingrich – who once grandiosely described himself as “the definer of civilization” – fake yet another religious . . . → Read More: Red Tory v.3.0.3: Only in America!

Red Tory v.3.0.3: Über Mitt!

Mitt Romney gets asked what time it is and responds with a stilted history of watch-making through the ages…

Good grief, I didn’t even know there was yet another Republican “debate” on the TV machine tonight. Guess I’ll have to view it online now to see if John King followed up by asking . . . → Read More: Red Tory v.3.0.3: Über Mitt!

Red Tory v.3.0.3: Down & Dirty

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned…

This isn’t the first time that Newt’s embittered second wife has emerged in the media to seek revenge for being cheated on and dumped for another woman, although it will most certainly be the last and most decisively inopportune. Karma is such a bitch.

. . . → Read More: Red Tory v.3.0.3: Down & Dirty

Red Tory v.3.0.3: God Withdraws Support for Perry

Following a series of hapless debate performances and a campaign trail littered with innumerable (albeit hilarious) gaffes that left him woefully polling in the range of his presumed IQ, Texas Governor Rick Perry decided today to pull the plug on his doomed bid to be the next Leader of the Free World.

Seeing . . . → Read More: Red Tory v.3.0.3: God Withdraws Support for Perry

Red Tory v.3.0.3: King of Bain

The complete film by the SuperPAC supporting Newt Gingrich called “When Mitt Romney Came to Town.” It’s quite an artful hatchet job.

As expected, the Republican establishment and most of the corporate media is pushing back strenuously against what it chooses to regard as an outrageous attack on Capitalism. Here, for example, is Newt . . . → Read More: Red Tory v.3.0.3: King of Bain

Red Tory v.3.0.3: Summing Up the Republicans

Good discussion about the current state of the GOP with respect to the primary race and hypothetical outcomes should a Republican become president, featuring David “Axis of Evil” Frum, New York Magazine writer Jonathan Chait and National Review editor Kevin Williamson.

Towards the end of the conversation, Paiken wheels out this priceless quote from . . . → Read More: Red Tory v.3.0.3: Summing Up the Republicans

Red Tory v.3.0.3: Mitt-Sock Wins! (again)

It took all of 10 minutes after the polls closed for Willard “Mitt” Romney to be declared the winner of the New Hampshire primary election. Meanwhile, there will be four hours of “live” coverage on all the cable news networks analyzing the results and pretending there is some significance to be gleaned from the outcome. . . . → Read More: Red Tory v.3.0.3: Mitt-Sock Wins! (again)

Red Tory v.3.0.3: Better Know a Flake

Give it up to the good folks in New Hampshire who last month actually staged a serious 2 hour-long C-SPAN forum for “lesser known candidates” running for President of the United States to broadcast their pitches to hundreds of viewers and answer legitimate questions from the press about government relations, energy, foreign policy and the . . . → Read More: Red Tory v.3.0.3: Better Know a Flake

Red Tory v.3.0.3: Santorum Comes From Behind!

Not a terribly big surprise that homophobic religious wingnut and trigger-happy war-mongerer Rick Santorum would emerge triumphant from last night’s lunatic fracas in Iowa. Beating out competing Christian zealots in the race to not be Mitt Romney with the power of endless shoe leather and attractive sweater vests, the man who dare not be Googled . . . → Read More: Red Tory v.3.0.3: Santorum Comes From Behind!

Red Tory v.3.0.3: Fox News Kills Ron Paul

Not literally, of course… but as you can see from nipped and tucked Scientoligist Greta Van Susteren’s year-end look back at the race to become the Republican presidential nominee, there is not ONE single mention of Ron Paul in the entire 7½ minutes of video. Why, it’s as if Fox News made it seem as . . . → Read More: Red Tory v.3.0.3: Fox News Kills Ron Paul

Red Tory v.3.0.3: WPITW: Fox & Fiends

The late great Daniel Patrick Moynihan famously said, “Everyone is entitled to his own opinion, but not his own facts.” Unfortunately that concept is totally alien to Fox “News” that gets busted in this instance for blatantly misrepresenting unemployment figures on graphs to fit its own counterfactual narrative:

As for the actual “winner” . . . → Read More: Red Tory v.3.0.3: WPITW: Fox & Fiends

Red Tory v.3.0.3: Broke-Back Perry

Another great parody of Republican ad; this time, Rick Perry’s pathetic attempt to rile up homophobic Bible-thumpers:

You don’t need to be in the pew each Sunday to know that Rick Perry is an imbecile.

. . . → Read More: Red Tory v.3.0.3: Broke-Back Perry

Red Tory v.3.0.3: Ron Paul “Big Dogs” Ad

You don’t have to agree with the message to admire this ballsy new ad by the Ron Paul campaign.

Kudos to whatever advertising shop created it!

. . . → Read More: Red Tory v.3.0.3: Ron Paul “Big Dogs” Ad