Trying to balance work while caregiving for a family member or friend can feel frantic and impossible. It’s exhausting to prop up a fiction that we “should” be able to manage everything, all at once, by ourselves. But now, there is hope that workplaces everywhere will embed caregiver support that
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THE CAREGIVERS' LIVING ROOM A Blog by Donna Thomson: Here’s a Concept That May Explain a LOT
A few months ago, I was chatting with the caregiving thought leader and founder of the Caregiving Years Training Academy, Denise Brown. Denise and I always have great conversations and this time, she mentioned an idea that really caught my attention. “You know why caregivers are so desperate?” she asked,
Continue readingTHE CAREGIVERS' LIVING ROOM A Blog by Donna Thomson: Mother Lode: Confessions of a Reluctant Caregiver
When Dr. Zachary White and I were in the research phase of writing The Unexpected Journey of Caring, we talked about a phenomenon that we were observing in caregiver support groups online. Zachary called it “the great migration.” More and more caregivers (mostly women) were moving away from their
Continue readingTHE CAREGIVERS' LIVING ROOM A Blog by Donna Thomson: The Twelve Days of a Caregiver Christmas
This is a reprise of a Christmas post from 2017. Hasn’t the world changed since then?! Then again, time moves more slowly in caregiving. Merry Christmas, everyone! And may we all stay safe and healthy in 2023. My words to the carol “The Twelve Days of Christmas” are fun,
Continue readingTHE CAREGIVERS' LIVING ROOM A Blog by Donna Thomson: A Man Finds His Purpose in Caregiving | Ousmane | The New Yorker Screeni…
Lately I’ve been talking about “slivers of time” for self-care or reflection. If you can find half an hour today, watch this short film about a homesick immigrant who finds purpose and meaning in caring for an elderly neighbour with dementia. It’s a quiet film shot in my hometown of
Continue readingTHE CAREGIVERS' LIVING ROOM A Blog by Donna Thomson: Wish a Caregiver Happy Labour Day!
The feminist scholar Arlene Kaplan Daniels coined the phrase “invisible work” to describe the many tasks that women have traditionally performed in their families and communities. Picking apart our common understanding of what constitutes “work,” Daniels wrote (in 1987): We distinguish work from leisure activity (that we want to
Continue readingTHE CAREGIVERS' LIVING ROOM A Blog by Donna Thomson: THE TWELVE DAYS OF A CAREGIVER CHRISTMAS
This is a reprise of a Christmas post from 2017. Hasn’t the world changed since then?! Then again, time moves more slowly in caregiving. Merry Christmas, everyone! And may we all stay safe and healthy in 2022. My words to the carol “The Twelve Days of Christmas” are fun,
Continue readingTHE CAREGIVERS' LIVING ROOM A Blog by Donna Thomson: TWO NEW FREE COURSES – ONLINE AND JUST FOR CAREGIVERS
When our son Nicholas was two, he had an operation to insert a feeding tube in his tummy. It was a tough decision made a little easier by the fact that our son’s cerebral palsy made sucking, chewing and swallowing so difficult for him that his growth slowed to an
Continue readingTHE CAREGIVERS' LIVING ROOM A Blog by Donna Thomson: PTSD in Caregiving – When Little Things Feel Life-Threatening
One day when I was 17, I happened to be home alone with my father. As a result of three strokes a year earlier, Dad was paralysed on his right side and had lost his speech. On this particular day, I remember in vivid detail walking down the hall into
Continue readingTHE CAREGIVERS' LIVING ROOM A Blog by Donna Thomson: CAREGIVING: THE DIFFERENCE WE MAKE IN HOSPITALS
FROM THE PEN OF A CRITICAL CARE DOCTOR: THE DIFFERENCE THAT CAREGIVERS (ESSENTIAL PARTNERS IN CARE) MAKE IN THE HOSPITAL. “It was a tenet of my critical care training. Family members were an integral part of the care that we delivered. They keep us accountable and remind us that our
Continue readingTHE CAREGIVERS' LIVING ROOM A Blog by Donna Thomson: FOR THE ONE WHO IS EXHAUSTED, A BLESSING
FOR THE ONE WHO IS EXHAUSTED, A BLESSING I’m not gonna lie to you – I am exhausted. Not just tired, but a ‘Covid’ kind of dispirited lethargic kind of tired. It comes not just from giving care, but from monotony and loneliness. I feel a heaviness and absence of
Continue readingTHE CAREGIVERS' LIVING ROOM A Blog by Donna Thomson: FOR ALL WHO HELP WITHOUT BEING ASKED
What we need in these strange days of fear and anxiety is poetry. Poems reassure us we are doing the right thing. That the decisions we make are the right ones. That our best is good enough in the face of so much uncertainty. My friend Diane sent me this poem. She
Continue readingTHE CAREGIVERS' LIVING ROOM A Blog by Donna Thomson: MEETING FEAR WITH COURAGE IN CAREGIVING
I was speaking with a friend today about fear in caregiving. The fear that we might forget something very important, the fear that dismissing a symptom now could provoke a crisis later, the fear that we are not good enough in the face of love and serious illness. As it happens, my
Continue readingTHE CAREGIVERS' LIVING ROOM A Blog by Donna Thomson: What the Heck is Happening? I’m a Caregiver?
Caring for a dependent loved one is a chaotic business. There isn’t much time for reflection, let alone laundry and grocery shopping. I’m always thinking, “If we can figure out a framework for planning our days, then maybe life would be a little easier.” Some of those frameworks I’ve talked
Continue readingTHE CAREGIVERS' LIVING ROOM A Blog by Donna Thomson: EMPOWERING ABILITY – We Are ALL Caregivers!
Recently, I had the pleasure of speaking with sibling caregiver, activist and blogger Eric Goll. Here’s my interview on EMPOWERING ABILITY – We are ALL Caregivers. Thank you, Eric! Eric writes: In Episode #050, I had the pleasure of interviewing Donna Thomson and we dove into the topic of caregiving. Donna
Continue readingTHE CAREGIVERS' LIVING ROOM A Blog by Donna Thomson: What is the Wisdom of Caregivers Anyway?
What exactly is the wisdom of caregivers? The Oxford Dictionary defines wisdom as the quality of having knowledge, experience and good judgement. Let’s start with knowledge. What do caregivers know? Well, we know our loved ones and they have taught us the skills required for achieving intimacy in loving relationships. That knowledge is rare
Continue readingTHE CAREGIVERS' LIVING ROOM A Blog by Donna Thomson: PRACTICING KINDNESS ON MYSELF, THE BUDDHIST WAY
Yesterday I had a massage. I needed it because for about a week now, I was grumpy from feeling rickety. A searing ache in my lower back meant that climbing stairs was a slow process and lifting my left leg to slide into the driver’s seat hurt like the blazes.It
Continue readingTHE CAREGIVERS' LIVING ROOM A Blog by Donna Thomson: CELEBRATING DISABILITY MOMS THIS MOTHER’S DAY
I am delighted to host this guest post by Dr. Yona Lonsky. Dr. Yunsky is a Clinician-Scientist in Adult Neurodevelopmental Services and Director of the Health Care Access Research and Developmental Disabilities (H-CARDD) Program at the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health. She’s also a Professor in the Department of Psychiatry
Continue readingTHE CAREGIVERS' LIVING ROOM A Blog by Donna Thomson: THE PHARMACIST: A CAREGIVER’S SECRET, BEST FRIEND
One of any caregiver’s BEST and most SECRET friends is the community pharmacist. Why secret? Because most caregivers aren’t aware of all the help that pharmacists can provide. Why best? Let me tell you this story of our pharmacist. Our son Nicholas was often ill and in pain. We struggled at
Continue readingTHE CAREGIVERS' LIVING ROOM A Blog by Donna Thomson: ALZHEIMER’S AND AGGRESSION: STRATEGIES TO COPE
It is my pleasure to host this guest post about managing aggression in loved ones who have Alzheimer’s or dementia. This is a difficult and painful subject, but one that many caregivers have to manage regularly and often with little support. Here is some excellent advice to begin (Read more…)
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