mark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: An Outraged Diner Emails the In-Vitro Café

From: wally42@yaboo.com To: owner@invitrocafe.com Subject: Suing your restaurant Dear Proprietor, My wife and I managed to get a table at the grand opening of your establishment last night, and we regret our effort. We are both conscientious eaters, so the … Continue reading →

mark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Renoir’s The Festival of Slorg

Many art historians believe this to be the famous painting, Luncheon of the Boating Party (Le déjeuner des canotiers) by the French impressionist Pierre-Auguste Renoir, painted in 1881. They are right on two counts: it was Renoir, and it was … Continue reading →

mark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Clown Apocalypse: Buffoonibilism

This isn’t terrifying is it? He looks kinda fun, right? Sure, up until the point he starts to eat your face. One of the mutations of the Bozo Virus that was most horrifying was the one that caused Buffoonabilism, a … Continue reading →

mark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Ask General Kang: Is it technically cannibalism if all you eat is a pinkie?

First of all, check the finger carefully. If it’s not a pinkie from the same species, then you’re probably okay. I was once really freaked out by Colonel (now Major) Bonzo and his wife had me over for a “special” … Continue reading →