Dear Harper Government™: Fuck You. Love, Quebec.

And thanks so much for forgetting the Montréal Massacre, too. It only took you bastards 23 years to set us collectively back half a century. Bray-fucking-vo. Meanwhile, les Québécois(es) se souviennent: On a day the government fulfilled a long-standing goal and saw legislation to destroy the federal long-gun registry set to receive royal assent, it ...

I’ll just leave this right here

Apparently this is the poster for a cancer-research benefit match. And yes, that is Justin “Just Watch Me” Trudeau in the upper right-hand corner! I could make all kinds of naughty puns about this, but I think I’ll just say that all this beefcake has done wonders for my red blood cell count.

The poutine thickens.

And look! There’s a Spanish fly in it: RackNine, the Edmonton company that suspect “Pierre Poutine” used to send voters to the wrong polling locations, is operated by Edmonton businessman Matt Meier, with the help of Rick McKnight, who is identified variously as head of marketing and web developer. But Postmedia News was unable to ...

I got my ballot, I got my Orange Crush.

Peggy Nash, here’s lookin’ at you.

Why Stephen Harper stole our elections

I have a terrible confession to make, kiddies: I feel absolutely no pity or sorrow for Stephen Fucking Harper, now that his chickens are finally coming to roost after more than 20 years. Yeah, I know that the man has been our so-called prime minister only since 2006, and with a very mediocre electoral showing ...

Girl, look at that body!

He works out: This just keeps getting funnier every time I see it. Most of all because it’s true. It’s funny because he’s sexy, and he’s sexy because he’s funny. It’s like an endless positive feedback loop! And if the “Namaste” in his goofy-ass valentine to Regretsy is any indication, it’s a pretty safe bet ...

Man up, Vic!

You want a piece of me? First, Vic, get a warrant: And when you’re done that, get a life: Public Safety Minister Vic Toews claims he was attacked on two internet fronts from inside the House of Commons last week and says in a letter to the House Speaker that one of the assaults—the short-lived ...

Clip ‘n’ Save: US foreign policy in a nutshell

This might also come in handy for the Harper Government™ hacks and apologists lurking here, seeing as you’re all trying to turn us into Yanks Lite with your dirty, smear-mongering politics. BTW, if you want to know where to start for Venezuela, it’s on the LEFT. Pay attention and memorize this, because you never know ...

Festive Left Friday Blogging: Another satellite for Venezuela

Looks like Simón Bolívar will have even more company in orbit. In addition to his Bolivian and Ecuadorian counterparts, he’s going to be joined by another Venezuelan satellite, named after another independence hero: The new satellite, “Generalísimo Francisco de Miranda”, represents a great leap for the development of technological independence in Venezuela, said president Hugo ...

This is what same-sex marriage sanity sounds like

Isn’t it wonderful when human rights win out over simply toeing the party line? This is Maureen Walsh, a Republican state representative from Walla Walla, Washington, speaking out beautifully for same-sex marriage rights both as a widow with happy memories of her own marriage, and as the mother of a lesbian daughter, whose marriage she ...

Maggie’s melancholy marriage crusade, and me

Ahem. A little mood music, maestro: Ah, that sets the tone brilliantly for what I’m about to say… And here it is. This morning, this Salon link popped up in my Facebook feed. Maggie Gallagher is a frequent wanker on my weekly list, and it’s not hard to see why. She’s said so many stupid ...

Never Cry Wolf (just throw strychnine)

This…is unbefuckinglievable. This is the sort of shit that would have been done 50 years ago. It’s also the sort of shit Canada isn’t supposed to be doing anymore. And yet, this is happening right now, and for the worst of all conceivable reasons: Late last week, internal documents went public showing Canada is fretting ...

I don’t think this will cure my cold.

Yes, kiddies, your auntie Bina is still under the weather. But since laughter is supposed to be the best medicine, let’s take the Rick Mercer cure, shall we? Oof. Just made myself cough. Guess I’m not cured after all! But it does make me feel better to know that Peter Fucking Kent and Ezra Fucking ...

Justice: SERVED.

’nuff said.

How evil triumphed in Argentina and British Columbia

Riddle me this: What does this… “It wasn’t one or two cases, or one or two officers involved, but many, thus there was a pattern, a plan” to take away those babies from their biological families which they considered “non trustworthy or communists”, said Elliott Abrams former US Assistant Secretary of State. He added that ...

Fortuna Silver = Nasty Ass Honey Badger

Yes, it’s true. Don’t believe me? Watch this… And then read this, and tell me if you don’t think so. Here, I’ll even excerpt a few key passages for you… Vancouver-based mining company Fortuna Silver says it has nothing to do with the shooting death of a protester in a town near the company’s mine ...

No means NO, no matter what

Marital rape: It’s not just “rough sex” or “role-playing”. A young academic has been sentenced to four months in jail for sexually assaulting his wife during rough sex despite his claim that, in their dominant-submissive sexual role playing, “no” frequently meant “yes.” The 33-year-old man, who cannot be identified to protect the anonymity of his ...

Short ‘n’ Stubby: Ms. Manx swats SOPA

What’s that meowing I hear? A cyber-kitty with a massive pet peeve…named SOPA. Whatcha got for us, Ms. Manx? First up, the Stumpy Cat would like to direct our attention to all the hypocrites endorsing this bad legislation. She thinks this begs a lot of questions, not least of which is: Do they not see ...

Keystone XL: Dirty oil barons threaten Obama

The clearest, most concise explanation yet of why the Keystone XL pipeline project, which would ferry dirty tar-sands oil from Alberta to Texas, must not proceed. Yes, all this talk of “ending our dependence on foreign oil” is a LIE. Shocking? Wait, it gets worse. The pipeline would also threaten a geologically unstable area that ...

Your bathroom has a tooth fairy problem

What was Harpo really saying? Whatever it was, this is WAY more entertaining.

Stupid Sex Tricks: Because stupid hat tricks are so passé

Hockey normally gets very short shrift here, unless I’m wank-listing Don Fucking Cherry for his latest rockum-sockum case of Teh Stoopid. But this time, the tacky thing at the rink wasn’t him or his suit, it was what someone else tossed onto the ice: Yes, that is a dildo. And this is its tale of ...

Some call them drones…

…others call them Job Creators: America’s growing drone operations rely on hundreds of civilian contractors, including some, such as the SAIC employee, who work in the so-called kill chain before Hellfire missiles are launched, according to current and former military officers, company employees and internal government documents. Relying on private contractors has brought corporations that ...

Spyware for Arab despots: Germany’s latest source of shame

Wikileaks just keeps exposing the imperialist underside of western “democracy”. And one of the latest to be embarrassed by revelations is Germany — an unlikely player in the imperial game, seeing as it’s been officially out of it since World War II ended. But what used to be done overtly by governments has since been ...

“Did you call him a piece of shit?”

Justin Trudeau, Liberal MP for Papineau, explains why he lost his shit at so-called environment minister Peter Fucking Kent yesterday in the House of Commons. He apologizes for his intemperate language but, take note, NOT for the sentiments expressed therein. I think the only thing he should have apologized for is insulting fecal matter. But ...

Stupid Sex Tricks: Beds are for sleeping, subways are for screwing

Subway sex at Spadina Station. Only in TO, folks. From the Toronto Star, in both cases, we have the following funny Canadian contradiction. First, the sad news that we’re not getting a lot of nooky: While it stands to reason that Canada’s cold climate would be enough to send us all back under the covers ...