“Can’t sleep, clown will eat me.” –Bart Simpson I always used to think one of the silliest phobias was coulrophobia — the fear of clowns — until I saw this album cover. This thing is terrifying. I mean, it just reeks of menace! Mr. Bat is wearing some kind of traditional Pagliacci-type of outfit, and . . . → Read More: mark a rayner: Excruciating Album Cover Art — Mr. Bat Sings
This song is based on a poem by the Greek poet, Constantine P. Cavafy. His source material was a story from Plutarch about Mark Anthony, as he watched his allies and supporters leave Alexandra before his enemy Octavian attacked the city. The original poem is called “The god forsakes Antony,” and is a meditation on the […] . . . → Read More: mark a rayner: Alexandra Leaving – a short history
Reagan did a lot of this during the Reykjavík Summit with Gorbachev, but it was part of his strategy. He was TRYING to make Gorby and the Russians think he was a maniac. Hell, maybe he would launch the nukes — he was that crazy. Though this did … . . . → Read More: mark a rayner: Crazy like a fox
Angry monkey with a chaingun. I’ve been there. Alltop would never give a weapon to a lower primate. From Otipess. . . . → Read More: mark a rayner: Furious George
Writer’s note: Most of the Twitter handles are invented. And if the reverse chronology is a problem, you may prefer to start this short story at the beginning, but I recommend starting here: LandingPartyONE Displeased we did not demolish Twitter … . . . → Read More: mark a rayner: Twitterpocalypse
Congo began his artistic career when he worked with Desmond Morris, anthropologist, TV presenter and writer of such books as The Human Animal, The Naked Ape, and Chimps-r-Us. Initially, Morris gave Congo the paints just to mess with the poor ape’… . . . → Read More: mark a rayner: Congo: a chimp, an artist, a cautionary tale
I include this cover, not because it is awful, but because the story behind this collection of classic jazz nose-harmonica stylings remind me of such an excruciatingly sad story. In the annals of nose harmonica players, Ignatz Topolino is usually the f… . . . → Read More: mark a rayner: Excruciating Album Cover Art – Ignatz Topolino
Alltop prefers roast opossum. Original photo by Doug Brown via Flickr. . . . → Read More: mark a rayner: Happy Yanksgiving!
One of my guilty pleasures is Jim’ll Paint It — where readers request crazy scenarios and Jim makes them happen through the magic of imagination (and some kind of hallucinogen, I’m guessing.) Alltop loves a good hallaughinogen.
A short addendum, filed under who knows: Time-travelling pirates Über-chimp astrologers Ham-fisted hosers Over-emotional AIs Plus this subset of writers: Whisky-swilling scribblers Wine-soaked hacks Beery autobiographers Alltop is a algorithm posting as a humor site.
I post this quote for no particular reason. It’s from his collection, Wampeters, Foma, and Granfalloons. Alltop has some insanely fun links.
Sure, half of Western Canada was on fire, polar bears were evolving into full amphibians, and the bee population was fucked, but there were some side benefits to global warming. As the earth heated, cloud watchers were in for some exciting times. Generally speaking, there were fewer clouds to watch, but when there were clouds, . . . → Read More: mark a rayner: The unexpected benefits of climate change
The Amazon servers take even more heating… Alltop is hot for the funny. Cartoon via Hungry for Knowledge.
Something you probably didn’t know about the technological singularity: all the clowns die first. Alltop will have to choose a side when the time comes. Painting by Mike Wellins. Interesting stuff: he takes old landscapes and stuff and then adds SF tropes to them. More here. h/t
Okay, I’ll admit it. I’m freaking out. I ate at Wendy’s last night, and then I’m reading the paper today — yeah, like I do everyday on the bus — and so I’m reading the paper, and what do I see? Bird Flu! There was another breakout of bird flu in a freakin’ chicken farm . . . → Read More: mark a rayner: Doug the neurotic invents a corollary on his daily commute
I’m sure Quentin Tarantino isn’t thinking of a remake, but if he did this, it would be TERRIFYING. Alltop is the Harlequin of humor aggregators. Photo by drewlevy
Originally appears in “The War Between Writers and Reviewers,” by Thomas Flemming in the NYT, 1985. Alltop loves a good bad review.
So what is it about science fiction that causes “literary” types to look down upon it? Like any genre, SF has its bad and good. No scratch that, like any writing, there is both bad and good. I’ve read plenty … Continue reading →
Pretty sure you don’t want to use a loaded pistol as a starter gun… Alltop is always loaded.
Never get out of the boat. Absolutely goddamn right. Unless you were going all the way. Kurtz got off the boat. He split from the whole fuckin’ program. And me? I was off the boat the same time as Kurtz. … Continue reading →