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mark a rayner: Excruciating Album Cover Art — Mr. Bat Sings

“Can’t sleep, clown will eat me.” –Bart Simpson I always used to think one of the silliest phobias was coulrophobia — the fear of clowns — until I saw this album cover. This thing is terrifying. I mean, it just reeks of menace! Mr. Bat is wearing some kind of traditional Pagliacci-type of outfit, and . . . → Read More: mark a rayner: Excruciating Album Cover Art — Mr. Bat Sings

mark a rayner: Alexandra Leaving – a short history

This song is based on a poem by the Greek poet, Constantine P. Cavafy. His source material was a story from Plutarch about Mark Anthony, as he watched his allies and supporters leave Alexandra before his enemy Octavian attacked the city. The original poem is called “The god forsakes Antony,” and is a meditation on the […] . . . → Read More: mark a rayner: Alexandra Leaving – a short history

mark a rayner: Crazy like a fox

Reagan did a lot of this during the Reykjavík Summit with Gorbachev, but it was part of his strategy. He was TRYING to make Gorby and the Russians think he was a maniac. Hell, maybe he would launch the nukes — he was that crazy. Though this did … . . . → Read More: mark a rayner: Crazy like a fox

mark a rayner: Furious George

Angry monkey with a chaingun. I’ve been there. Alltop would never give a weapon to a lower primate. From Otipess. . . . → Read More: mark a rayner: Furious George

mark a rayner: The Infographic Explained

mark a rayner: Happy Canada Day

mark a rayner: Twitterpocalypse

Writer’s note: Most of the Twitter handles are invented. And if the reverse chronology is a problem, you may prefer to start this short story at the beginning, but I recommend starting here: LandingPartyONE Displeased we did not demolish Twitter … . . . → Read More: mark a rayner: Twitterpocalypse

mark a rayner: Congo: a chimp, an artist, a cautionary tale

Congo began his artistic career when he worked with Desmond Morris, anthropologist, TV presenter and writer of such books as The Human Animal, The Naked Ape, and Chimps-r-Us. Initially, Morris gave Congo the paints just to mess with the poor ape’… . . . → Read More: mark a rayner: Congo: a chimp, an artist, a cautionary tale

mark a rayner: Excruciating Album Cover Art – Ignatz Topolino

I include this cover, not because it is awful, but because the story behind this collection of classic jazz nose-harmonica stylings remind me of such an excruciatingly sad story. In the annals of nose harmonica players, Ignatz Topolino is usually the f… . . . → Read More: mark a rayner: Excruciating Album Cover Art – Ignatz Topolino

mark a rayner: Happy Yanksgiving!

Alltop prefers roast opossum. Original photo by Doug Brown via Flickr. . . . → Read More: mark a rayner: Happy Yanksgiving!

mark a rayner: Gonzo street

One of my guilty pleasures is Jim’ll Paint It — where readers request crazy scenarios and Jim makes them happen through the magic of imagination (and some kind of hallucinogen, I’m guessing.) Alltop loves a good hallaughinogen.

mark a rayner: The nature of novelists

A short addendum, filed under who knows: Time-travelling pirates Über-chimp astrologers Ham-fisted hosers Over-emotional AIs Plus this subset of writers: Whisky-swilling scribblers Wine-soaked hacks Beery autobiographers Alltop is a algorithm posting as a humor site.

mark a rayner: You tell ’em Kurt

I post this quote for no particular reason. It’s from his collection, Wampeters, Foma, and Granfalloons. Alltop has some insanely fun links.

mark a rayner: Keyboard Shortcuts for Novelists

  Or you could just mash the keys together in a fit of anxious rage and see what happens? Alltop gets funny whenever you hit alt + f. H/T to Corey Redekop. Genius cartoon by Tom Gauld.

mark a rayner: The unexpected benefits of climate change

Sure, half of Western Canada was on fire, polar bears were evolving into full amphibians, and the bee population was fucked, but there were some side benefits to global warming. As the earth heated, cloud watchers were in for some exciting times. Generally speaking, there were fewer clouds to watch, but when there were clouds, . . . → Read More: mark a rayner: The unexpected benefits of climate change

mark a rayner: Fahrenheit 1600

The Amazon servers take even more heating… Alltop is hot for the funny. Cartoon via Hungry for Knowledge.

mark a rayner: Did I Miss Anything?

Question frequently asked by students after missing a class by Tom Wayman The Astonishing Weight of the Dead. Vancouver: Polestar, 1994. Nothing. When we realized you weren’t here we sat with our hands folded on our desks in silence, for the full two hours Everything. I gave an exam worth 40 per cent of the . . . → Read More: mark a rayner: Did I Miss Anything?

mark a rayner: The clowns die first

Something you probably didn’t know about the technological singularity: all the clowns die first. Alltop will have to choose a side when the time comes. Painting by Mike Wellins. Interesting stuff: he takes old landscapes and stuff and then adds SF tropes to them. More here. h/t

mark a rayner: Doug the neurotic invents a corollary on his daily commute

Okay, I’ll admit it. I’m freaking out. I ate at Wendy’s last night, and then I’m reading the paper today — yeah, like I do everyday on the bus — and so I’m reading the paper, and what do I see? Bird Flu! There was another breakout of bird flu in a freakin’ chicken farm . . . → Read More: mark a rayner: Doug the neurotic invents a corollary on his daily commute

mark a rayner: Reservoir Clowns

I’m sure Quentin Tarantino isn’t thinking of a remake, but if he did this, it would be TERRIFYING. Alltop is the Harlequin of humor aggregators. Photo by drewlevy

mark a rayner: Quote: Vonnegut on reviewers

Originally appears in “The War Between Writers and Reviewers,” by Thomas Flemming in the NYT, 1985. Alltop loves a good bad review.

mark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Tweeting in two places may break my brain

And god help me if I ever get confused! "When my brother and I go to the swinging singles bar, we look for the girls with the dog poopie on their shoes… " pic.twitter.com/ZUmCPUBjk4 — Mark A. Rayner (@markarayner) October … Continue reading →

mark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Why do lit-ah-rary types look down on SF

So what is it about science fiction that causes “literary” types to look down upon it? Like any genre, SF has its bad and good. No scratch that, like any writing, there is both bad and good. I’ve read plenty … Continue reading →

mark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: The Flash and Superman Race to See Who’s Fastest

Pretty sure you don’t want to use a loaded pistol as a starter gun… Alltop is always loaded.

mark a rayner | scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: Apocalypse Cow

Never get out of the boat. Absolutely goddamn right. Unless you were going all the way. Kurtz got off the boat. He split from the whole fuckin’ program. And me? I was off the boat the same time as Kurtz. … Continue reading →