I missed this back in August, but, while I keep seeing Orwell and Huxley in everything around us, Tern saw Joseph Heller: This is exactly the crazy-making that’s going on. Tern is a priest and knows people who were dying of Covid, but their death certificate says anything but Covid. Instead it’s
Continue readingTag: absurdity
A Puff of Absurdity: Age of Absurdity
We’re skipping gleefully into the most absurd period in history. The philosophical notion of the absurd came from Camus. It grew legs with existentialists after WWII when the youngest and fittest men were sent to be slaughtered in war. The streets of Paris were full of widows and grieving mothers
Continue readingA Puff of Absurdity: Where Does the Buck Stop on Mandates??
So Dr. Kieran Moore, CMOH, claimed he doesn’t have the authority to institute mandatory masking in schools, and that boards can “consult with their local medical officer of health.” It was later clarified that the CMOH can order masking in schools, or local health units, and it’s not up to individual school boards.
Continue readingA Puff of Absurdity: Covid and Climate Change: Similar Rationalizations, Different Intensity
I was searching through YouTube looking for things to include in my career retrospective, mainly looking for a clip of an old CKCO show, What’s Your Point/The Final Round, from March 28, 2009, filmed at my school. Four teachers were set up to argue on various random issues, and Brent
Continue readingA Puff of Absurdity: On Anxiety
I just finished John Green’s Turtles All the Way Down, which I read because he claimed it was his way of trying to put words around what it’s like to live with profound anxiety, and then I saw this article asking “Why are more American teens than ever suffering from
Continue readingA Puff of Absurdity: On the Absurdist Victory: All is Well
A while back I wrote about a video comparing Stoicism and Existentialism. The video also touched on different psychology principles developed from each philosophy. Stoicism is easily seen in CBT and REBT, which start with the premise that when we’re upset it’s because of our perception of things, not the things
Continue readingA Puff of Absurdity: On Comparing Existentialism and Stoicism
This summer, I went on one camping trip with a book on Stoicism, then another camping trip with a book on Existentialism, and I was intrigued by the many similarities. Then I came across this video that has some overlap with what I had noticed. As they say in the video,
Continue readingA Puff of Absurdity: On Beauty and the Beast
I saw the newest version of this classic, which was close to being very good. There were a few long boring bits, and the CGI of the beast was hard to watch, but I liked that they added a little subplot about LeFou. I’m not talking about how inclusive it
Continue readingA Puff of Absurdity: On Cancer Doulas
When last we left our heroine, she had just had an invasive tumour removed, but found out there could be traces of cancer left behind. She was left to choose between surgery, radiation, tamoxifen, or nothing. Let’s see what she does next… I had never heard of Healthcare Navigators before,
Continue readingA Puff of Absurdity: On Cancer Doulas
I had never heard of Healthcare Navigators before, and it seems they don’t exist as much in Canada as they do in the more expensive and privatized healthcare to the south (except for Indigenous needs), but they’re becoming more of a thing here. In Ontario, some hospitals have them, and we’re
Continue readingA Puff of Absurdity: Swiss Army Man
I first saw this at the theatre and, despite the fact that it starts with a whole lot of farting in a wide variety of tones and tempos, the ending had me in tears. I highly recommend it. The surface story is about Hank, trapped on a deserted island –
Continue readingA Puff of Absurdity: Swiss Army Man
I first saw this at the theatre and, despite the fact that it starts with a whole lot of farting in a wide variety of tones and tempos, the ending had me in tears. I highly recommend it. The surface story is about Hank, trapped on a deserted island –
Continue readingA Puff of Absurdity: HyperNormalisation or Welcome to The Age of Absurdity
I added the subtitle above because this is one trippy film, but it’s important to see (or read this summary in about 15 minutes) after last night. It actually helps explain Trump. After Adam Curtis’s The Century of the Self, a very straight-forward documentary (albeit 4 hours long), this one,
Continue readingmark a rayner: The Procedure
Grounding the team had been difficult, but not impossible. Dr. Hansrik assured them there would be no danger, once the patient was unconscious. Prior to sedation, the patient was capable of anything. (Just ask the good folk of Peoria, Illinois, who&#…
Continue readingA Puff of Absurdity: A Reasonable Doubt?
What does reasonable doubt look like? Is there really, REALLY, a reasonable doubt that Jian attacked the women who had their lives scrutinized on the stand? With sexual abuse cases, it all hinges on the credibility of the victims. But the problem with our system today is that the standards necessary to determine credibility are far too high. In far too many minds, credibility is questioned in a sexual abuse case if a woman continues to hang out with, have sex with, be attracted to, or even love their assailant. The legal system must acknowledge and contend with this insidious nature of abuse that places wounded women back in the arms of their abusers. It just is. There’s no easy way to prevent that very human behaviour, so it must not be seen as an admission of prior deceit.
They had inconsistencies in a story about an even that happened over a decade ago, and they can’t remember how long his hands were around their necks or the colour of a car. Our memory for details are sketchy over time, but our memory for a major event – not so much. Withholding e-mails can be understood, so plainly, as either forgetting about a note sent so long ago or, if intent to withhold can be proven, then a clear acknowledgement that in our fucked-up system, sex after an attack appears to nullify any claims of damage. That has to change. Immediately.
In a famous experiment, dogs were put in a compartment and trained to jump a barrier when given an electric shock. After one or two tries, the dogs jumped the barrier immediately after being put in the compartment even when no shock was given. BUT some dogs were restrained the first time and not able to jump the barrier. They had to tolerate the shock without being able to escape. When they were unharnessed, they still didn’t jump the barrier, but just stayed there, tolerating the pain.
“Seligman found that it took many experiences (up to 200) of being forcibly dragged across from the shock compartment to the safe compartment for them to rediscover that responding could bring relief and thus to break out of the learned helplessness syndrome.”
Up to 200 times after just one inescapable experience! We are hard-wired to stay put, to hunker down and tolerate abuse after just one bad experience. That’s how we survive. When dogs are beaten, they often follow their abuser around even if there are kinder family members to hang out with. We align ourselves with the strongest in the pack, and an abuser can fit the bill. These are basic animal behaviours that are difficult to overcome despite our big brains, even for the best and brightest among us.
It’s clearly not entirely a matter of victims being too polite, but of a built-in animal nature to cope with pain rather than act on it if there’s no clear escape. And there IS no clear escape if calling the cops ruins your own life and reputation and offers little hope for a conviction.
The parliament site, Hill Notes discusses rates of “unfounding”:
“Among seven Ontario police forces, 2% to 34% of complaints of sexual assault were considered unfounded. No matter what the percentage, the rates were significantly higher for sexual assaults than for other crimes in the six forces for which comparative data were available. Studies have shown that victims may be seen as less credible in situations that do not reflect the stereotypical image of sexual assault as a violent act perpetrated by a stranger on a “virtuous” woman who vigorously resisted. . . . In some investigative manuals, for example, the criteria to be considered in detecting a false report include a request to speak to a female officer. . . .
There are various factors at play [in the low conviction rate], including reliance on myths and stereotypes to discourage the complainant from testifying in court and to attack the credibility of the complainant. Such testimony is generally crucial for the prosecution of a sexual assault case, as there may be no witnesses and little other evidence.”
Check that out again: just the act of asking to see a female officer is enough for your claims to be discredited in Ontario. That standard is ridiculously high. This is why people are posting signs saying “I believe survivors.” I’m bracing myself for slippery slope arguments to the contrary now – that if we lower it a smidge, then women can get men convicted on bogus charges because maybe he didn’t call back right away, and women will TAKE OVER THE WORLD.
Hold the phone. We can lower the standards to a REASONABLE place wherein women feel free to admit to a relationship after an assault without fear that it will not be believed WITHOUT lowering credibility standards to a point that women can charge men willy nilly. It is possible, but it will take some work to change the way we understand one another.
What should determine credibility?
Well, it shouldn’t include victim’s later behaviour, how they dress, or where they live or work (i.e. a prostitute must be believed as much as a nurse), or minor inconsistencies. If you’re telling a story of an assault from years ago, and you sometimes say ‘slapped’ and other times ‘hit’, it shouldn’t follow that you’re lying about the entire thing. The standard I’d like to see is: “Did they say ‘yes’ to the behaviour and to every escalation of the behaviour?” It will always be complicated to convict, but in a case with many women testifying against one man, it seems clear that they’re not jilted, spiteful girlfriends out to get a guy for ditching them. That might happen out there somewhere. I admit it’s possible for a woman to be so angry that, twelve years later she’s still willing to put her own life on trial to falsely accuse a man of a horrific assault, but it’s highly unlikely. When there are numbers of women expressing similar fates, then the likelihood of them all fabricating the same story becomes astronomical, and they Must. Be. Believed.
In a Facebook comment, Antonia Zerbisias had this to say about these women:
“With sexual assault — and I don’t mean a punch but full on penetration — victims should know not to shower, brush their teeth, even though the compulsion to do so must be overwhelming. If they don’t know that, then there should be posters in schools and universities and workplaces, and PSAs on all the channels. There was no DNA in this case. . . .
As for strangulation marks or bruises, if there were any, I am amazed that nobody photographed them. But let’s just say that the complainants were too traumatized to do so, or there were none, why would they have not shared their stories with their girlfriends or sisters? Or, right. Trauma, shame and I am victim-blaming. . . . .
Now here we have three youngish women, who would have been in their 20s when these events happened and, for whatever reason had stars in their eyes with JG. . . . but, seriously, who could buy one of the stories: One of them claims he committed a violent act one day and then next day, she invites him over for a friendly handjob? . . . . Women must take some responsibility for their safety. . . . . If you have a creepy feeling, say you have a headache and Uber it home. . . .
I often wondered why he never asked [my friends] out but now I know. They didn’t need him or act like they needed him. Sure, they were starstruck but they had resources and spidey-senses and would have walked if he tried anything. Predators always go for the weak, the ones at the back of the herd. Frankly, I don’t think these complainants were too bright. I know that’s brutal but a smart woman would have shut up and not written things like we’ll get the prick.”
Heres’s the thing: It makes us feel safer if we can believe that it won’t happen to us since we’re smart and resourceful. But that’s bullshit. Even smart women are sexually assaulted. Even you. There’s lots more to unpack in that comment, but there’s one thing I’d like to point out. Having DNA evidence of sexual contact AND having pictures of bruises will not further a case if the accused insists it was consensual BDSM. He didn’t claim he didn’t have sex with them, but that it was all consensual. All the DNA evidence in the world won’t help. And even filming it doesn’t seem to make a difference as he willingly showed filmed footage of rough sex to his employers earlier on. All the prosecutor has is the victims’ statements. It will always come down to a matter of who we believe, and we must believe more survivors.
Teaching girls how to behave after an attack does fuck-all if rapists aren’t convicted because the girls’ credibility came in to question because they did that one wrong thing.
Antonia praises the almighty Section 11 of the Charter, and I assume she’s referring to part d): “to be presumed innocent until proven guilty according to law in a fair and public hearing by an independent and impartial tribunal.” Many are celebrating that the law was impartial because it actually ignored the media and protestors. But I content it wasn’t impartial because it did not ignore a very warped, patriarchal idea of what it looks like to be abused. Our current legal system doesn’t recognize what’s necessary to actually stop this illegal activity, and, as a result, rape continues more openly than I’ve ever seen before. We can watch teens rape girls at parties in videos shared openly. Some guys are not remotely ashamed of this kind of behaviour, and now they have yet another hero to applaud for proving his innocence. Yes, he’s technically “not guilty” rather than innocent, but that’s not how it will be seen to some, and how it is seen is what will affect future behaviours.
The effect of this trial is terrifying to me because it means abusers everywhere think they can get a pass even with multiple victims. Too many men feel untouchable, and they are all too often correct.
I flagged about twelve different posts and articles I planned to discuss in this post. I just started with Antonia’s with the intention of commenting on others, but this is all so frustrating and exhausting and terribly sad. When people argue dispassionately that we must stand behind our legal system, they don’t seem to understand that they’re praising a system that will allow my daughters and my students and my friends and myself to be attacked with impunity if we can’t guarantee being perfect witnesses on the stand. That’s. Just. Fucking. Wrong.
And really scary.
I’ll leave you with MP Charlie Angus’ concern here:
“[People celebrating the verdict] are so fucking far from understanding the collective fire engulfing women at the moment, that your point is a moon of pluto. My point is the sun. My point is that since those 21 brave women came forward, our insides have been burning, we swallow nails every day, we question our existence. . . . We’re having a mass breakdown under the weight of a system that so evidently hates us, and you have no fucking idea of the reality of our lives.”
A Puff of Absurdity: A Reasonable Doubt?
A post wherein I get a little grumpy and swear-y about it all.
What does reasonable doubt look like? Is there really, REALLY, a reasonable doubt that Jian attacked the women who had their lives scrutinized on the stand? With sexual abuse cases, …
Continue readingA Puff of Absurdity: The Terrifying Ramifications of the Verdict
I can just barely read about Jian’s acquittal on all charges. The Guardian has a telling interview with Lucy DeCoutere today. And of course some people, like Aaron Harnett, see it all as a “win” for Canadians because it safeguards us from accusations …
Continue readingA Puff of Absurdity: The Terrifying Ramifications of the Verdict
I can just barely read about Jian’s acquittal on all charges. The Guardian has a telling interview with Lucy DeCoutere today. And of course some people, like Aaron Harnett, see it all as a “win” for Canadians because it safeguards us from accusations …
Continue readingA Puff of Absurdity: On Childhood Angst
Can children be existentialists? What I’m asking isn’t so much whether or not it’s possible, but should we allow it? If I dare to claim to define some central ideas here, the part about living authentically and embracing the freedom that comes with taking responsibility for all our choices with
Continue readingA Puff of Absurdity: Upset Them at Your Peril
Professor Edward Schlosser wrote an interesting piece in Vox about, in part, the power his students have to call the shots these days. I can attest that it’s at best, defeating, and at worst, absolutely terrifying. First of all, to clarify, my students are typically a delight, but the current
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